I hate assumptions!

I hate making assumptions about my life that seem plausable at the time, but in reality have very little chance of panning out. I realized that I do that way too much. Even as a kid, I figured by the time I was the age I am now I'd have my own house, be married, and traveling the world. In reality, I live in the unfinished basement of a small house, "traveling" means goin to Sioux Falls for an evening, and yeah, the married thing, not so much. Ok, so I'm not complaining about my life currently, cause I like it, its just not how I envisioned it being at this point when I was younger. And now I have different assumptions in my head for the future, and who really knows if any of them will actually happen or not. These range from assumptions about relationships with girls to what I'll be doin at my job to whether or not OJK will take off (yeah, some are a bit more far fetched than others). But I make these assumptions, then start to plan my life (long term or short term) around them. And, a majority of the time (esp with the assumptions about girls) they don't pan out, and I'm left revamping my plans. I mean, not like I make any major changes in my life over any assumptions, just what goes thru my head as far as what I plan on doin.
But, what can I do? I mean, its not like I just can't plan anything, and besides I spend most of my day doing mindless work, so my brain has to do something to occupy itself. Thus, it turns to various assumptions and runs with them. And somehow it turns from bland daydreaming just to keep my brain moving to elaborate plans usually focused on one small detail that just happens to be an assumption I've made about one aspect or another about my life. As of late, thats been redesigning and re-redesigning my house in my head. And I mean details!! And major changes, the house won't look the same on the inside at all. But, of course, that whole thing is based on the assumption that I will be able to buy this house, and live here long enough to actually make those changes.
So I resolve to try to stop making so many assumptions about life, but I know it won't happen.
And now, I assume I'll finish this post and go upstairs for some food.
________ of the day: They'll stone ya when you're playing your guitar
The assuming Ogukuo

Yet ANOTHER Saturday morning

So it seems Saturday morning posts are my thing now. You know those stories that start "It was just a regular day, nothing out of the ordinary, and then.........." well.........
It was just a regular day, nothing out the ordinary, and then, I started blogging!! Ha, yeah, thats my way of saying nothing is happening. Oh, but stuff has happened in the past week.
Last Saturday I ended up out at Oak Grove camping with several people. It was a blast. I got dirty, sweaty, dehydrated, and slightly feverish, and I loved every moment of it. I love camping so much. I kid you not when I say that when I design my yard eventually (yeah, I plan on doin my own), I will most assuredly be putting in several Ponderosa pine trees, same as what grow in the Sierra Nevada mountains in California. And an outside eating area, porch or something (more likely brick pavers), and a fire pit. And, of course, enough ground area for tents, etc. Yes, my backyard will be like a campground, I love it that much.
Speaking of designing my own yard.......I brought in some design work to Greenworld this past week as well. Its sounding good for me to move to design! w00t! I think they really liked what I had, and I know that I have some good ideas to help the design side of their business. I can't wait to start on that. We have a meeting with a computer rep in the next week sometime to discuss buying computers to use for design. The only downside to all of this is that this will make it harder to leave Greenworld to start touring with OJK. And thats something I thought about when I initially approached the uppers about this move. I mean, I have no qualms quitting if all I'm doin is fieldwork, they can find someone else to do that on some street corner. But my position as a designer (esp probably being the one with the most computer knowledge and freshest ideas) is goin to be a lot harder to leave for any sort of extended tour. I'm seriously torn. I mean, on one hand, I have a good job with fairly good job security, where I can do the design work that I like, but on the other hand I have the oppertunity of a lifetime. I find it hard to quit my 9 to 5 to pursue that dream, but at the same time, how can I pass it up? Ack, its so uncertain at this point!! Hopefully I'll have a better idea where both of those are heading in 4-6 months. At that point I'll probably be out of work at Greenworld (off season, not fired), and we'll have cut our first full length album and looking for the label that wants to sign us. So I guess it kinda comes down to how quickly we get signed, and what kinda tour they put us on. I dunno, thats an area I'll be praying alot about. Cause, yeah, when it comes down to it, I know which one I want more, but its also the one thats alot more uncertain and difficult to pull off successfully.
Ok, thats all I can handle for now, I'd best get back to washing this weeks laundry, and putting away last weeks laundry :S.
______ of the day: Even tho I hate pickles, I always seem to find myself in them.
The pickled (no, not that way) Ogukuo

Just another Saturday morning, and I ain't got nobody...

So, yet another Saturday morning where I should be doin laundry, cleaning up my room, etc etc etc. And I'm not. And I wont, not at least for another few hours. And by the time I do finally get started on all that, something will happen, and I'll leave all the stuff I should have done already to go out and have fun. That kinda seems to be the m.o. for my Saturdays. I mean, I like the funness and all, but yeah, I really should be gettin stuff done too. Perhaps once I'm done with this post, I'll get started........
Went to Blue Mountain last night with a few people, including Taz. It was a blast, very much enjoyed it. I really like that place, its the first time I've been there. A bit spendy, but, makes sense, it is a nice place.
So I think I'll be presenting a bit of design work to my boss at some point next week, thus basically coming to the point in my job where I either find out I'll be moved to design work (either right away, or eventually), or I find out they don't have the space/need/want for another designer. So, in other words, kind of a scary ordeal. I mean, the outcome could very well effect where I'll be working the rest of the year, this winter, and for the near extended future. If they like my work, and move me to design, I'll probably be staying on at Greenworld for a while. If they decide against that, I dunno what will happen. I mean, my job as it stands right now doesn't use my college experiance, skills, and gifts at all. I feel like I've wasted my time at school, and my talents are not being excersized like they should be. So I may have to look for another job that will use those skills if Greenworld decides they don't need them. I know, I've only been out of school for like 2 months, and it takes a while to find the right job, and thats fine with me. The problem I am worried about is possibly getting a semi-mediocre job somewhere (GW or another place) that carries some responsiblility but doesn't really keep with the general idea of design that I want to stick with. Cause then I'd have a tough time leaving the job, but yet probably wouldn't be happy, cause I wouldn't really be doin what I want to be doin. I'm afraid if I stay on at GW but don't move to design, I'll be carrying more responsibility around the yard next year, and eventually I'd have a job where they would need me around, but I wouldn't be getting a good return on my investment in school, meaning I still wouldn't be using my gifts/skills. So, yeah, thats gonna be weighing on my mind this weekend.
Ok, I smell breakfast wafting down the stairs, I should go see whats cookin.
______ of the day: Mares eat oats and does eat oats, but little lambs eat ivy.
The Saturday-morning-unshaven Ogukuo

I'm really in a sticky wicket

I like that saying, think its prolly related to cricket (the game, not the horse). But I really am sticky, lots of tree sap on my arms from work. Even a brutal assalt of shampoo (I couldn't find real poo, hahahahaha), body wash, and a bar of soap didn't get it all off. But, oh well, I guess its goes nicely with all the little red dots on my arms. Working with spruce trees is torture. Especially when its hot outside, and you have no one to talk to, and no radio. Oh, and did I mention 9 straight hours of it? Ick. Theres a lesson in this: go to college!!! Oh wait, that doesn't work. I mean, go to college, and actually use your degree!! I will be using most of my free time this week to finish up a theoritical design project I'm working on to convice my boss to move me to design and save me from the torture of steaking spruce trees all day every day. If that doesn't work, maybe I'll move to the Rockies up in B.C. and sell racoon pelts to make a living.
So, on a completly different note: Spanglish. Just watched that again this past weekend. I like the movie, I think it has alot to say if you actually pay attention to it for more than entertainment value. True, as stated on someone else's blog, the ending leaves you kinda wondering what happens with the family, which I wish was wrapped up. But, the general idea is given, and I think its a respectable ending. Because it takes a different approach than Hollywood normally would. Normally, the guy would run off with the hot young house maid and leave his bitchy wife with the kids. How more Hollywood can you get? Fast action, cheating, hot women, its the perfect formula. But this one took the respectable approach, the guy sticks with his wife, even tho she's obviously flawed, and the Flor thinks of her daughter over herself. I really wish I could see how the family gets thru the wife cheating, and the husband being strongly tempted to leave her, but taking her back. Probably not sequel-worthy, tho. Theres another semi-underplayed theme goin on in the movie, too: The pressures of success and how people deal with it. John Clasky is extremely nervous about his revue, so much so that he doesn't even want a perfect score, it would require too much of him, he's afraid of success. Deborah Clasky is trying to be successful in the way of being a perfect woman: fit, beautiful, has it all. She can't handle her own life or herself, and feels the need to constantly excersize to try to keep in shape, have an affair because shes not sure of her real family, and force her daughter to be something she isn't. Eveyln Wright (the mother-in-law) is an alcaholic who seemingly had a very successful past, and either can't handle the past fame, or the fact that she is no longer a popular singer. Flor is driven to a different country to find a successful life for her daughter. Not a bad thing at all, but still driven by success. Christina is dazzeled by the Clasky's wealth, and wants to be like them. It seems the only one in the movie who has a real grasp on happiness is Bernice. Ironically shes the not-so-pretty, kinda overweight daughter of the Clasky's, the one you'd think would be the least happy of everyone. Her mom is trying to change her, she knows Christina is prettier than her, and yet, she seems happy with herself and who she is. I think Hollywood accidentally stumbled onto the truth, success isn't everything, and can very well ruin a person even, true happiness comes from yourself. Ok, so an oversimplified view, perhaps a bit off, but unless I go into great detail, it's gonna have to stand.
So, thats enough soap-boxing for today, back to the designing.
_____ of the day: why do birds suddenly appear?
The sticky Ogukuo

Hangover? or so much more?

Ok, so this morning I woke up with a headache. Of course, you are now thinking "Hangover! hangover!". Well, from my experiances, a hangover will last about and hour, and then its gone, at least the mild ones I've had. This headache got progressively worse for a good 5 or 6 hours thru out the day (mostly gone now, thank goodness). But, I don't think it was really a hangover. I speculate possibly mild heatstroke, or something like that. My roommate had a simular thing, hes also workin outside all day like me, so it'd make sense. I started work at 5:30 yesterday morning, and worked most of the day in the hot sun. And then had a few drinks of the relaxing nature last night, and some how last night turned into this morning, and I ended up staying up til about 3:30. So, I think I created a very bad combo of being in the sun most of the day (in 90+ heat, no less), having alcahol, and staying awake for 23 straight hours. I was even feeling like I was gonna loose my lunch there for a while, not cool. But, I've mostly recovered, and will probably be headin into work at 5:30 or 6 almost everyday this week to again try to avoid the incredible Iowa heat. And perhaps avoiding the uber late nights and alcamahol as well.
I must add a very important disclaimer, however, I had a blast last night, I don't regret staying up late and drinking, just wish it didn't lead to the negative effects it did. I love talking music, especially with people like Ross and Paul who actually know something about it. Of course, I try to restrain myself from talking too much and reveiling my ignorance on the subject in general, but I love learning about it, music is so much fun to discuss. I've always found it so intriguing, even more so in the last 6 months, since I've been so much more involved with it in OJK. I really hope to go on and be part of the music scene that I find so intriguing to talk about. Man, the thought of getting on a label and everything is exciting enough, but the thought of leaving a lasting mark on the world of music is practically unattainable thought at this point, it so cool.
Ok, I'd better end this post before I work myself up to the point of giggling uncontrollably about the whole band/music thing.
_______ of the day: I hate any day that goes over 90 degrees
The overheated Ogukuo

Caught in the crossfire of childhood and stardom

So I watched Pink Floyd The Wall yesterday, wow, that was intense. I really am gonna have to see it again to understand it I think. Probably more like half a dozen more times really. Also found out that Syd Barrett died, thats uber sad. I think he was one of those people who was genius to the point of insanity. Or maybe he was just insane with no genius, I dunno. He co-founded Pink Floyd, but only stayed with them for a while, before basically losing it. I think those who are musicians to an extreme point like that tend to be a bit self destructive. Just like any artist who is so intense about their artwork. I like to think that I'm not insane even tho I'm an artist, but those who know me may know better. I can at least claim to be sane. I guess we'll find out in a few years after having a cd or 2 out and doin some major tours, maybe then I'll lose it, who knows.
So besides that, no blogworthy news so far this week, been rather ho-hum really.
______ of the day: Shine on you crazy diamond
The tired/hungry Ogukuo

Let's go get the shit kicked out of us by love

So I watched Love, Actually with Paul and Andrea last night. That nice line in my title is from the movie. So no jumping down my throat about swearing, its a quote, but a wonderful application of a potty word anyway. Its said by a little boy who has been trying for a little girl in his class to like him. Like, these are 10-year-olds or something. He says that to his stepdad when he has finally worked up the courage to go talk to the girl. How amazingly true it is, too. I mean, trying to approach a girl about unsaid but obviously understood topic is pretty much the most nerve racking thing that can happen. Especially for a guy approaching a girl about it. Girls (not all, but some) like to "play the game" and mess with your heart (and don't you dare respond that they don't, cause you know its true, and I've talked to girls who have outright told me they do it to watch the guy sweat). I'm talking about a girl intentionally acting a certain way to make a guy miserable because she knows he likes her. Most guys don't do that. A guy may be mean about it, but the girl knows how he feels. I'd rather know where I stand than have a girl play with my heart like a dog plays with a chew toy (make any analogies there you wish, I'm implying them all). Of course, in the movie the girl is nice, and they end up as together as two 10-year-olds from different continents can. But, of course, thats a movie. Real life it ain't.
I can't wait for school to start again so that everyone is back, but at the same time, its so nice being able to avoid the girl scene (trouble) for the most part over the summer. So, in other words, I am again reminding myself of my persistance to be single for the time being. I hope that I can sooner or later actually work up the courage of a 10-year-old, but not right now. Pursuing is a 24-hour-a-day temptation, one that I'm trying to avoid right now, cause I don't want a girlfriend right now, and it would only end up in me being hurt yet once again. And don't leave any crappy kitschy comments about 'the one being out there' or 'good things come to those who wait', yeah, super, that'd earn you the status of old nosey church lady back home who asks me with a wink why I'm staying in Iowa (no, not anyone in particular, but you know the type I'm talking about). I'm not looking for reassurance or anything stupid like that, just stating my general intentions to not waste my time/feelings/heart for the time being. My family track record ain't real great for getting married early, and it looks like I'm gonna follow suit, and at least wait a few more months to even consider putting myself out there again to either find someone awesome or have another girl play the game with me being the ball.
Ok, this post is way too long, and sounds bitter, but it isn't, or at least I'm not bitter, even if the post appears that way.
_______ of the day: "One day you'll see her and you'll know what I mean"
The off-work Ogukuo

This post's for you

Heres a special posting dedicated to those who get up on Saturday mornings and check everyone's blogs first thing. Sadly enough, I did that myself this morning, right after checking my email. I've got a wonderful pattern of checking my gmail account, groupwise account, blogspot blogs, xanga blogs, and facebook. Almost always in that order. And people say that interpersonal communication skills have gone the way of front porches and knowing your neighbors. So, instead of reading this, go outside!!! Its a beautiful day!!! (Thank you U2 for the background insperation) Looks like we got enough rain last night to clean up everything, and freshen up the earth. And yet, instead of enjoying the true fullness of life, you are sitting here reading this inside on a cold, impersonal computer. And sadly enough, I'm writing it on the same horrible beast. What cars did to knowing your neighbors a hundred years ago, computers are doing to knowing anyone now. Instead of talking to someone to find out how they are doin, we check their blog. Instead of writing someone a quick note and giving it to them, we write on someones facebook wall. Email has cheapened letters to the point of ridiculousness. Our wonderful, time-saving, convienent advances in technology have taken us to the point of being able to isolate ourselves from any form of real human contact at all. Not to mention contact with nature. I also check the weather report in the morning. I do that in front of my computer instead of walking up the stairs and looking out the fricken window. If I need to buy something, I look it up online, if I wanna talk to someone, I email them, if I wanna know whats happening, I check drudgereport, if I wanna see nature, I look up pictures online. What would happen to our culture if the internet went down? (Lets all pray it happens) Its getting to the point where our entire lives revolve around a cold calculating machine sitting on the desk. If we lost that, God forbid, we may actually have to talk to someone in person!! We may regress to the horrible point in human history where we take the time to ask someone how they are, or write (as in those archaic tools, pen and paper) someone a personal note, read a newspaper out on the front porch to see whats happening in the world, look out the window to find out if its raining or not, take a walk around town or in a park instead of surfing the net aimlessly, enjoying real human company instead of e-friends.
On that slightly psychotic (but all too clearly spewed out) note, I'm gonna go for a bike ride, and then return to my house and (sigh) sit in front of my computer some more.
_____ of the day: I thought these devices were supposed to make life easier, not more complicated.
The e-Ogukuo

Stuck in the Middle

So the fireworks Tuesday night really shed some light on a subject. And that was an increadibly generic sentance, no insight into anything. For the longest time I have watched the fireworks in Ripon from my grandpas frontyard with my family after our 4th of July bbq. So watching fireworks reminded me of that. And Sunday dinner at grandpas house. And family camping. And various cousin get-togethers (we called them VanFerBerns, dont ask). And I realize that all of that is pretty much in my past. Cause I don't live there anymore, and so I'll miss all of the family stuff. Its amazing, thats been a major part of my life for so long, and the memories of it are so vivid, and I'll never experiance it again, least not in the same way. And yet, I don't really feel like I'm at home in Sioux Center either. I'm still just a leftover college student. I can't go back to Ripon, it just wouldn't work, so I really am a man with no country, so to speak. I'm left in a state of being dazed and confused, just trying to find some sort of solid base for my life, cause now there really isn't one. I dunno how long I'll be living in my current residence, how long I'll have my current job, if my friendships with all the returning students will be the same, obviously family relations are different now, about the only solid thing I have to go on in who I am and who God is. And I know thats all I need, but it still increadbly scary. I guess I've kinda come to a logger-head against life, and I'm just gonna have to get thru it.
And the worst part is I'm not returning to school in the fall. For the past 18 years I've returned to school in the fall. If I were this year, I'd be looking at 7 more weeks of drifting, and then back to familiar territory. But instead of that, I've got my entire life ahead of me and its depending on decisions I make now. Quiting my job now doesn't affect the rest of my summer, it affects the rest of my life. I can't grit my teeth and bare it ("it" being anything and everything) until September, now its life and I can't put it off, its not goin away in the fall, or any other time. Basically there's nothing set in the future that I can look forward to. So I dunno where that leaves you, but it leaves me slightly lost.
_______ of the day: a bit of comic relief
The fire-worked Ogukuo

Just out for a good time

I've seen/heard of two excellent examples tonight of why those of use who are human should not drink alcahol to excess. Yes, drinking is fun, and can lead to a good time, but as the old cliche saying goes, there is too much of a good thing. Not only can it ruin your night in the short term (not to mention the following morning (and afternoon, depending how deep in the hole you are)), it can ruin your life in the long run. Everything in moderation. By all means, enjoy life, live it to its fullest, but be a slave to nothing. My resolve to not drink on a very too regular basis (which is strong already, the resolve, that is) has been severely strengthened over the past 3 hours. I just hope those who make stupid decisions that ruin the short term don't get to the point of not being able to make decisions any more and ruin their life in the long term.
And now, time for bed, gotta be up in 6 hours for yummy breakfast made by not me.
_____ of the day: Its already be said.
The stone sober Ogukuo

California Surfin'

So I went surfing this morning for half an hour or so. Sadly, it was surfing blogs, not the ocean. I know thats not blogworthy, but I don't really got anything else to start a blog with, so its stream of conscienceness.
I am liking the idea of OJK taking off more and more. With each show we play, I'm realizing more and more how much I totally enjoy it. Entertaining people is a blast, not to mention meeting bunches of new people, hearing music from other local bands, and best of all being able to play our music. Granted, Pauly does most of the writing, or Andrew does, but I still like to claim at least part of the music cause, for the most part, I come up with my own bass lines. Which can be both fun and disasterous. I can't wait to do a full length professionally recorded album later this year (I'd say I'm crossing my fingers in hope, but I know we all want it to happen, so barring any unforeseen circumstances, I dunno why it wouldn't).
On a completely different note, today is the first Sunday in a while where I didn't role out of bed and think to myself, crap, now I've got 5 days in a row of having to get up at 6:30 instead of sleeping in. Porque no trabajo para dos mas dias! Of course, tomorrow will be filled with lots and lots of "I really need to do it" stuff, but it'll be better than tying bamboo to trees (which, granted, isn't really that bad, just boring). No clue what Tuesday holds yet, except for the strong possiblity of setting things on fire to celibrate out nations freedom. Odd way to celibrate, but I'm all about fire, so bring it on!
Played a game a Pauls house yesterday during rehersal break that was totally awesome. Its like a cross between Cricket (very British), horseshoes (very American) and golf (very frustrating). But it was fun.
Ok, enough random odd glimpses into my life in Northwest Iowa, most of you are probably asleep at this point, having wierd, boring dreams.
_______ of the day: Gallop Poles (sp?) always make me think of horses.
The NWI Ogukuo