Post #100!!!

Wow, 100 posts already, amazing! And how fitting that I spend this momentous occasion alone at the computer after midnight...
So, I hate goodbyes. I don't understand the "good" part of them. I guess the pain they bring really is Bittersweet. Maybe the good part is the fact that its hard because your saying goodbye to someone very special. The goodbye reminds you of how those people truly are special, and that your life just isn't the same without them around. If a goodbye isn't hard, thats when its time to be sad. A goodbye is real, its full of emotion and love and caring and unspeakable communication and hope and somewhere, deep deep down, some sort of peace. Its a peace, a knowledge of a connection, something that is greater than physical togetherness. Its that something that makes people truly close, even when they are far apart from eachother. And despite all this sappy crap about goodbyes, I still hate them :).
______ of the day: Iowa is a hard state to return to
The goodbye'd Ogukuo

And when you finally disappear, we'll just say you were never here

So I've watched a coupla good movies recently, Everything Is Illuminated and A Day Without a Mexican. I liked both of them, for different reasons. The first one I have raved about before, and anyone who has seen it knows why. The second one I had never seen before. Got it on a whim, and it was very entertaining. The one thing that really bugged me about it was they tried to stick Stockton down in Southern California. Well, they were only off by like 500 miles.

I hate feeling like nothing more than an observer. Thats why I loved being involved with sound tech. I felt like I was useful, a contributor. And music, I'm at all those rock shows for a reason, not just because I'm coming to watch. I'm starting to feel like thats fading. Everyone else is busy doing their thing, and I'm just sorta watching. I can show up and observe, or call and ask whats going on, but thats about it. Everyone is busy contributing, and I'm stuck just waiting and watching. I'm not called on for help with anything. I can tag along, but I'm not a big contributor. Sometimes I feel like I'm almost just annoying people whenever I call or show up somewhere, like they are busy with their lives, and I should just stick to observing. I should do my humble 40 hours of work a week, occasionally converse with people, and if something is happening, I can show up and watch, but my involvement isn't really needed.
At least thats the feeling I get sometimes.

______ of the day: Every spark of friendship and love will die without a home.

The Ogukuo

Stuck in the Middle

I have, once again, experienced a social life. If only for a night. It was grand. In the span of one evening I did many different things with many different people, all of whom are awesome. I feel as if these moments are becoming rarer and rarer-er. Part of me hates that these days are slipping away, and part of me is almost glad. I like hearing stories from my dad of Saturdays spent painting the house and running to the hardware store, and Sundays doing the same thing he has done on Sundays for the past 30 years. I look forward to the days when I do things like that. Set schedules, relaxed weekends, getting "back into the swing of things" for my 9 to 5 that will start again on Monday. The funny thing is I really enjoy looking forward to those things, but the thought of those times actually encroaching on my current life is not as enjoyable. I'm stuck between loving where I am now and loving where I envision my life going. I guess I feel like my current life is coming to a close, and my "grown up" life is yet to begin. Its ironic that I take comfort in what I know now, which is the unpredictable; and I'm scared of what I don't know yet, which will be a predictable life. I know the unknown, and don't know the known.
I am listening to The Starting Line, I like them. But not as much as Jimmy Eat World.
______ of the day: Are you alone? - The Starting Line
The middled Ogukuo

All my blog topics suck

I am listening to Jimmy Eat World, I like them lots.
Today is my first full day off from work since last week Thursday. I put in something close to 55 hours this week. Yay overtime, boo lack of social life and sleep. But its cool, I got today and tomorrow off. And then I work like 12 hours on Monday and then have Tuesday and Wednesday off. At least thats the plan, I kinda doubt I'll actually have those days off, cause so far we have one sick guy on staff, one who was sickish, and one who showed signs of getting sick. So I may either by working extra shifts or trading around this week. But, if things go as planned, I'll work like 6 days straight before leaving for California for Thanksgiving. So any days off I have this week better be spent getting ready to go home!!
Hmm, working all the time leads to a lack of blog topics...
_______ of the day: I need some sleep, I can't go on like this.
The lethargic Ogukuo

ummm, work?

Well, I was wrong about working 13 hours on Thursday. Its gonna be closer to 15 or 16. And with only 5 hours of sleep last night. I’m exhausted. And I was also wrong about having a 3 day weekend, I’m working Friday afternoon and evening. All told, I’ll have worked 8 days straight, and clocked well over 50 hours this week. Not the end of the world I guess, just of my social life. I’m not too upset, I’m working cause evidentially the latest form of entertainment amongst our staff is being sick. I’m working all my regular shifts plus an extra tomorrow evening to cover for someone. At least tomorrow I get to sleep past 7:00 am the first time since last Thursday. Next week should be a little more docile, but then I think I work 7 days straight before heading home for Thanksgiving. Hopefully that’ll make the time go by quickly :).
On an unrelated note, OJK has been hit up with some sorta interest in our music by an A&R thingy. As you can tell my use of technical jargon and concise statements, I have no idea what its all about. Except that it means that our sound has something to it. And that it’s a possible break. A break at a bad time, but a break none the less. I echo Andrew’s sentiment, why couldn’t this have happened a year ago? But its cool, none the less.
And now I’m done, its too hard to write when I’m seeing two screens and they are both spinning around (I’m tired).
_______ of the day: A&R thingy
The tired Ogukuo

Of course I've seen you before, but where?

I went to Sioux Falls last night. It was fun. I went with Paul and Jenna. I bought a new touque, some Christmas gifts, a guitar, some weights, and a tall caramel macchiato . The touque is fuzzy and warm and fun to wear. It makes my hair look flat and rather dumb. The Christmas gifts, well, I can’t write about those. We have a family gift exchange thing, and its supposed to be a secret of who I have and what I got them, so the last thing I wanna do is spread it on a highly traveled website like my blog. The guitar is actually Paul’s, but he didn’t bring his checkbook along, so I did the technical purchasing. I felt impulsive buying a guitar, even tho its not mine. It was fun. I have been reimbursed. The weights are intended for doing some light lifting, but will most likely serve a much better service collecting dust and sitting on the floor posing a serious threat to my bare, innocent toes. Stupid weights. The caramel macchiato was lukewarm and somewhat unsatisfying. But the toffee almond tort I got was rather tasty. All in all the trip certainly beat a poke with a sharp stick. Today I’m working a 13 hour day, tomorrow will be 10 hours, and Thursday will be about 13 again. Sigh. But then I have a 3 day weekend, huzzah. Although I think I may try to work an overnight shift Friday night at a different home. A high five for overtime!!
Alas, I have missed the beginning of Scrubs, I must now retire and lounge on the couch for a while.
_______ of the day: Shiny Toy Guns? Hmmmm…
The ‘yeah?? What are you gonna do about it??’ Ogukuo

Everybody likes Saturday mornings, right?

I am at work right now. I wish I wasn’t. I wish I was in bed. I wish I had regular weekends. I wish I worked regular hours. I wish I had the freedom of evenings. But, I like having random Wednesdays off. And four day work weeks. And getting paid to go bowling. Or to the library or grocery store or park. I like working with kids. I like the people I work with. I don’t like the artificial “drama”. I wish time away from work was really time away from work. I wish I had time away from work when I wasn’t too tired to do anything.
We just turned on the heaters at work, now there’s that ‘dust in the heater vent’ smell that people hate for some reason. I love it with a passion. It reminds me of going to the family cabin as a kid, cause we’d always have to turn the heater on for the first time in a long time, so it would smell like that. So every time I smell it now, it brings me back to the cabin. And thinking of the cabin makes me think of Thanksgiving, cause we’re going to a cabin over Thanksgiving in a few weeks. And I am uber stoked about it. Like, uber uber stoked. I can’t wait to go home! Especially now, smelling the cabin smell! Here’s a small list of things I’m looking forward to over Thanksgiving: Seeing Andrea, seeing my family, Aunt Katherine’s sweet potatoes, turkey!!!, seeing mountains, being in the mountains, seeing Andrea, wine tasting, leftover turkey, a fire place, leftover turkey, and seeing Andrea. Not necessarily in that order, of course. Things I’m looking forward to before Thanksgiving: Obsessing about Thanksgiving :). Ok, so I’m trying to keep myself occupied until then, so I don’t have time to dwell on it, but it is indeed immanent.
So how about that sports team we all enjoy?
______ of the day: kafuffle
The pining Ogukuo
p.s. nothing says Saturday morning like John Denver singing Sunshine on my shoulder.