Lost without direction

Ever notice when you want something and you go for it, and then realize its seems like it’ll be easy to get, so you loose interest in it? But then you find out you can’t have it and suddenly it looks appealing again? I dunno, strikes me as weird, and annoying.
I don’t know what to do with my life. I mean, I really have no clue, I don’t have any idea where I want to be in even 3 years. I’ve pretty much decided I don’t want to live in NW Iowa for the long term, but that’s about all I know. That, and I know I have way too many financial obligations to throw off all cares and be a hobo for a year, or travel Europe, or join the peace corps, or whatever. I don’t know where I want to live, I have nice ideas and a few choices, but no real leanings towards any place in particular, and it really all depends on a job. I mean, I can’t move somewhere without having a job lined up, I simply need the money to meet my expenses. But how do I get a job somewhere without being there? That’s another thing, I don’t know what I wanna do for a job. I have a design degree, but I don’t really see myself doing graphic design or something like that, its just not a strong talent. I have a strong interest in music, but I know I could never make it as a pro at it (barring the whole OJK thing, I’m thinking in non-fantasy terms here). Working with kids is fun, but working with disabled kids like I do now isn’t what I want to do forever, if nothing else, the hours suck. And the money isn’t exactly great, and it can be quite stressful. Any sorta youth minister thing wouldn’t work, I simply don’t have the spiritual calling for that. Teaching? Yeah, I don’t think I really have that in me either. So I really have no idea what sorta career I want to aim for, no idea whatsoever. And what about marriage? Am I meant to be single? Well, if I know the answer is yes, it makes things a lot easier, but I don’t think I am. So what then? Do I stick around here where I know lots of girls til I find one? Do I move somewhere else and just figure I’ll find a girl wherever I move? Do I find a girl here and move somewhere else with her? Again, I don’t know. So basically what it comes down to is the three biggest parts of my life (my career, where I’m gonna live, and if/who I’m gonna marry) are all big question marks. I have no idea whatsoever where I’m going with any of them, not a single lead at all. I love where I am right now, and I’m having fun, but I know its not gonna last forever, and I don’t wanna be one of those guys who just drifts thru life without direction and without really having any solid connections with anyone/thing.
I dunno, I just don’t know.
______ of the day: I’ve gotta figure this out, but don’t know where to start
The lost Ogukuo

we kick pants...LIKE A FOX!!

So I just got a hot-off-the-press listen to the new OJK cd. Of course, thats a privilaged listen, only 4 other people have heard it :). And I must say, I like it. Its nice actually hearing what our new songs sound like from an outside perspective. Oh yeah, and its a good cd!!
So a few thoughts on it...
I'm uber excited to have had the chance to do this, how many people can lay claim to their own recording?
My bass parts sound stupid by themselves (I heard enough of them in the studio to last me a while), but kick ass when put together with the rest of the band. At least in my opinion, biased as it may be.
I look forward to producing an album cover and other pieces to make the project complete.
I really look forward to the cd release party, whenever that will be.
It was awesome working in the studio (our engineer helped in the kicking of pants), but I'm ready for a break, its been a long week for me. Hurray for BBQ, party, and general nothingness tomorrow!
Ok, time for a ______ of the day, my posting name, and the end of this post.
______ of the day: Parades bring out so many emotions in me: joy, excitement, looking...
The recorded Ogukuo

Recording and such

So Day 1 of recording is over. And we pretty much nailed it. Drums are basically done, bass is done minus 1 song (and whatever little gaps are noticed later). Guitars seem to be pretty solid, just some filling in the gaps as well, and re-recording solo stuff to really nail it. Oh yeah, and vocals of course. But those are easy (I say that having no idea whatsoever if they are easy or not, cause I'm not a vocalist, and have never recorded vocals before). But all in all, it seems to be goin really well, and Mike the engineer seems to be really fricken good at what he does.
And now we get today off and head back up there tomorrow. I'm looking forward to it. Sometime next week I'll head back into the mac lab and come up with some sorta cover art, I've got some cool ideas, its just a matter of getting them out to see them.
An interesting thing is happening with this whole "spring break" thing happening. It seems those who are still around here over break will be the people who will be around here for the summer, and its kinda cool. I like the group of people who are here, and it seems that everyone is into camping and other fun stuff, so this summer should kick a. Granted, I'll miss the people who leave, but what can you do about that? Any way you look at it, this summer should involve lots of fun stuff like camping and trips to faraway distant lands such as Sioux Falls, but it should also involve fun stuff around home, like BBQs, pool parties, lots of movie nights, general hanging out, golf, and anything else thats cheap and fun to do.
I am hungry, time for breakfast.
______ of the day: I like Who's Next, its awesome
The recording, hungry, tired Ogukuo

Of friendships and those who comprise them

Its sad how old friendships change. I've realized that over the past few days. I don't like how friendships that in the past were so important and strong just kinda fade away or change. Its amazing how we can go from seeing eachother on a daily basis to going over a year without barely communicating at all. Old friends go, new friends come, sometimes their paths cross, and thats always a juggling act. I understand that and accept it, but only because I have to, knowing its gonna happen no matter what. So what do you do? How can you build strong meaningful relationships with people who you may only know for a few years? Its unrealistic to think you'll stay in touch with everyone you are friends with, it just can't happen. Its also unrealistic to be shut off from meeting people because you know that sooner or later you'll part ways. But whats the middle ground? And how do you mix old friendships with new ones? I've ran in groups that could certainly be called quite different from eachother. So what happens when a friend from one group meets a friend from another group thru me? I mean, I'm the same person obviously, but the general feel of the groups are quite different. How will those two people, both friends of mine, get along with eachother? Is it my place to worry about that? Should I care about that? Or should I just be who I am, make friends with those around me and make the most of it?
I dunno, all I know is I love the friends I have, and the friends I had, and I'm gonna try my hardest to stay in touch with them. Sometimes I wish life were easier. Sometimes.
______ of the day: Answers, please
The friendly Ogukuo

And I won't back down...

How about a little life update, hmm? Its been a while…
So I am officially a daytime fulltimer now, although I don’t actually switch shifts til the beginning of April. I filled out all the right paperwork, and even had an interview for the position, kinda odd. Probably the only interview I’ll do at 5:30 am barefoot with the news on the TV in the background. Oh, and I forgot a tie as well :S. I’m looking forward to days, but I’m also feeling a little overwhelmed by the whole thing already, its gonna mean a lot more responsibility and it’s gonna be tough. But, fun and worth it, and they boys need the help.
I leave for Omaha on Friday afternoon for a 48 hour blitz of nonstop partying. Ok, so not really, but I will be in Omaha for the weekend. Its sorta a birthday thing (mines on Friday), but also a ‘just to get away’ thing, and a ‘visit a long lost friend’ thing. I’m sure good times will follow. And next week I make 3 trips to Sioux Falls to work on a recording with the rest of OJK. Its gonna be awesome fun. Hopefully sometime in April we’ll have the fruits of our labor packaged and ready for distribution. The line starts here to get one.
Speaking of Sioux Falls, I’ve been there 2 twice in the past few weeks to look at cars, and I’ve pretty much decided on what I want (Mazda3) now its just a matter of finding the right one for me. I’ve also been talking to banks and everyone else with money about getting a loan, and trying to find the best deal. So now, its more or less a matter of waiting for the right car to come into the lot and doing all the paperwork to make it mine. With any luck I’ll be driving a new car within the next month or so.
So all in all, life is fun and good. They say the key to happiness is money, cars, and women. All it takes for me is a car, music, and friends. And I gotta admit, multiple cars, disposable cash, or any woman don’t really seem to be anywhere on my radar screen, so I guess I’ll have to be happy being happy where I am.
______ of the day: Happy is as happy does
The busy future’d Ogukuo

This blog is short and goes down hill quickly

So I'm in the mindset of blogging, but got nothin to say really. I'm in the 'its Monday, theres too much snow on the ground, the sky is cloudy, and I had a poopy practice' mood. Stupid fingers not doin what I tell them to do. Hopefully they straighten themselves out by Friday night. I just heard someone say (in a post dinner conversation) that no person is irreplaceable. Thats an interesting thought. Its not to say that no person would be missed, but in some shape or form, anyone could be replaced. I'm guessin finding another person to fit that space would be difficult, but not impossible. Kinda a depressing thought. To make it personal for me (since I'm selfish like that) if/when I leave the greater Sioux Center area and move on with my life, the people who I know here are gonna move on with theirs. I'd like to think that my absence would be noticed, but after my roommates at the time fill my vacancy in the house, a little time will pass and I'll just be one of those people who is vaguely remembered.
Ok, I'm just gonna stop, all I'm doin is making myself depressed for no reason.
______ of the day: If it ended tomorrow, would you remember me all the same?
The Ogukuo

Why can't I lead a normal life??

Well, for Tuesday being so bad this week, the rest of the week has been quite interesting to say the least. Wednesday started by me not being able to test for my class D drivers license (my only goal for that day, sigh). Stupidly, if you test drive for you class D and slide even a little, your license is suspended. They don't just deny you the class D, they actually suspend your regular license as well. And since the roads were already slick then I figured I wouldn't risk it. And then my boss called me and said to bring an extra set of clothes into work that evening. Hmmm, I don't like where this is goin... so I figured I wouldn't need them, but I brought the extra clothes that night, and its a good thing I did. I ended up getting blizzard'd in and didn't get out of their til the middle of this afternoon, putting me at over 40 hours there (I was only clocked in for about 30 hours, we rotated times off to rest and relax away from the boys). A long time anyway you look at it, but woulda been alot worse without a change of clothes. We had 5 staff members there, no one could really get out, and no other workers could get in either. So, we had 5 staffers, and 7 boys cooped up in the house, it was fun and frustrating and nerve racking and a learning experiance and actually a blast, minus the general inconvience of the whole thing. I enjoyed it, and I know the funness will be remembered, but so will the stress and whatnot. And I actually got to take a shower in a real shower with no toilet in it for the first time in I don't know how long! Oh, and do front flips into a snow bank, that was fun too. Shouldn't have waited til after my nice warm shower to do it tho.
______ of the day: All work and all play means you're working with kids
The finally off from work Ogukuo