I realized tonight that I'm outside the circle. I'm no longer part of the group, more like an outside observer. This, I'm sure, has been happening slowly but surely over the past 2 years, but tonight is the night I realized it. Overall, I was a general tagalong on events, but one comment kinda brought it home. After I made some stupid comment or mistake (probably a vailed attempt at humor, I don't remember), someone said "You're the oldest one here." I shrugged it off, and made another attempt at humor, but it kinda brought the point home. I'm definently at least a year older than most of the people I hang out with, more like 2-4 years for alot of them. I'd been trying to deny this fact for a while and just pretend I'm still a college kid, but I'm starting to give up on that.
I guess I'm kinda sad to see those good times end, but at the same time, I'm ready to move on. I thought the thing I'd miss most about college was the general relaxed nature and fun times, but I'm starting to see that its the discussion and conversation and learning that I'm missing more. And, to be honest, the whole idea of parties is really starting to not be as fun anymore. I'm enjoying more the times with just a few friends and a good movie, or discussion.
I think this is a good thing, as I'll be leaving the whole college scene behind in a few more months. I keep telling myself that fun times lie ahead for me, but not knowing what they are, or who I'll be spending time with is making it difficult to accept it. But, nonetheless, I know they are coming, and I look forward to figuring out what they will be.
Wow, now I feel like I'm making a crappy speech at a high school graduation, and thats always a sign to just stop, so thats what I'm gonna do.
______ of the day: find the humor in everything
The on, moving on Ogukuo
3 comments:
the first one now will later be last
for the times, they are a'changing
are you worried? dont be worried. there are many factors to being "in the loop" and its difficult to stay within the circle of those who bitch about classes and such when you've graduated. its also somewhat difficult to... ...know what happens on campus... ? but some dont really care about that... ?
I saw embrace your senility! There is much fun to be had in yelling at those whipper-snappers. Pretty soon they'll be gathering around you to listen to stories about the good old days.
Dude, totally. That's totally what I miss, the learning and the discussion in the community. It's kinda queer, the folks I hang out with in San Ho all tend to be at least two years younger than I. And alcohol totally isn't that fun when you do it so often. (okay, beer with friends is TOTALLY different than partying. I like a good beer.) Sometimes I'll go out to a bar with coworkers and when I get home that night the first thought will be "man, that was so empty." It's weird. But I'm really glad I skipped the whole "Keystone light Natural Ice" cheap drinking phase of college. Now I can enjoy a nice sam adams, Guinness, blue moon and this rad-ass german beer I had last night that begins with a G and is a double ale of some sort. The waiter served it to me in a fat-bottomed goblet that looked like an aboriginal fertility goddess. It was a good beer.
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