The Starting Gun

So I'm joining blogspot. I'm not ditching my Xanga, but I'm gonna make this one a bit more personal. And everyone knows my xanga site. This one, I'm not gonna tell people about. So if you are reading this, you must have just stumbled upon it, congrats.
So, how do I start my blogging? Um, well, I was more or less inspired by Pauly's blog to start this one. He opened up about his troubles with girls, and I felt a strong chord resinate within me on the same tune. I really don't even want to look for a girl anymore. All I've experianced in 'the game' is pain and stressed friendships. I've liked wonderful girls who don't like me, and it hurts alot. I've also liked girls I really shouldn't be interested in, and that leads to its own special problems as well. And (this being a new addition to the lineup of problems) I've had wonderful girls who I like as friends be interested in me. And I'm not interested in them in anything more than friendships. So, that leads to pain and ackward social situations. As much as I hate being in emotional pain, causing it is worse, I think.
So where does all of that leave me? Well, for now, nowhere. I don't want to look for/be interested in/find/hook up with any girls right now. I mean, I do, but I know that with everything else going on right now, I couldn't handle it. And besides, I don't want to do the looking right now, just the finding. And thats impossible to do, of course. I know pleanty of girls who I would like to try a relationship with, but for one reason or another, it wouldn't work with any of them. So, for now, I'm closing myself off to that possiblity. I'm striving to make it the whole summer without putting myself thru that pain. Not that fall will change anything, I doubt I'll be hooking up with anyone then either.
So, thats 1/10 of 1% of my thoughts on the subject. Good luck understanding it, cause I don't understand it, so theres probably no way you'll be able to.
If you've happened to find this (obviously you have) feel free to read it, but please don't tell anyone else about it.
______ of the day: contentment
The striving Ogukuo