Other side of the fence

Somehow I have a feeling alot of these posts will relate to girls and relationships. And on that note.........
I can't count (at least with my shoes on, I can't) how many times I've been rejected by a girl. Typical story, I get interested in a girl, come on too strong, she wants to be friends, I get shot down, and end up all awkward and without a relationship. Sometimes I've never talked to the girl again after that, and sometimes (thank goodness) the relationship recovers and we stay good friends.
But recently theres been a new game in town, and I've been on the other side of the fence than what I'm used to. I'm used to being rejected, but turning down someone else is relatively new territory to me. And I hate it just as much as what I'm used to. Especially when the girl is a nice one, and one I'm friends with. I've turned down girls I didn't really know, but thats not really a big deal. I mean, in that case, since I don't know them, they can't really know me yet, so I figure theres no real basis for them liking me anyway. But when its a friend, thats different. Then its obviously someone who knows me.
I thought I knew what I wanted in a girl, but now I don't know. Even with girls who I know who have the qualities I think I like, sometimes I don't like them as anything more than a friend, and I don't understand it. I've also recently realized (even tho I've really know this for a long time) that if I ever want a exclusive relationship with a girl (I've never had one) I'm gonna have to stop acting like a Jr Higher and actually talk to a girl about it. I mean, as a male, I'm supposed to be the pursuer, and regardless of personal views on that, I've never really done that besides having crushes and talking to the girl's friends about it (thats the whole Jr High thing). And, of course, thats easy, cause I'm not putting myself on the line as much, but actually talking to a girl about it, yeah, a bit more of a risk there. I've gotta get past being scared of that, take the risk (cause, face it, its worth it in the long run), and actually pursue a real realationship in a real way. Of course, I know that means I'll get hurt more, but hopefully it'll be worth the pain if I find what I'm looking for (it would also help if I knew what I was looking for).
So somehow that turned from a post about turning someone down into a post about asking someone out, I dunno how that happened, except the excuse of stream of consiousness.
_____ of the day: Evidently, I bare a striking resembalance to Ben Folds with short hair.
The Folding (hehehehehe) Ogukuo