Easy isn't

Ever feel like you have everything figured out, just to turn around and find out its really all just fucked up? Its that feeling of wanting to run away, get out of town, out of the country. I want to do that right now. I don't wanna be here, I don't wanna be anywhere. Least not anywhere I know. I want to get away to somewhere where I'm don't know and no one knows me. "It doesn't hurt when your dreaming"- Operation Joy Kill. I want to spend the rest of my life dreaming, I hate reality. Its nothing but pain and hurt. Spending all day doing nothing at a job leading no where, and the evening is nothing but trying to forget. Amazing how moments of loss can really be moments of clairity. I wish I could just go back like 6 years and start everything over. And yet, why? I mean, what could I change? I wish I could erase my memory like 'Eternal Sunshine'. Even if I lived the same things over and over, if I could just forget it for a while. Where can I go from here? It doesn't matter, life follows me everywhere. What I am, who I am, who I know, where I've been, what I've seen, it will all always be with me. No matter what. I guess theres nothing but to continue to conitune, over and over. Its gonna be a long life.