Except without the black hair, tight pants, and wierd writting/musical talent thing. (btw, if you haven't seen Little Miss Sunshine, see it, good portrayal of a real Emo kid) But I do feel all down and that 'life hates me' blah blah blah. I think the reason may be because I'm not really doin anything useful right now. Right now, like right now in life, and right now, like 11 am Friday morning. I only worked 3 days this week, I couldn't really work yesterday cause it was raining all day, and I'm not working now cause everything is soaked, and it'll probably be raining off and on thru most of today as well. But, I guess I could go in? Maybe? I dunno, its not raining at this moment, but probably will be, and what would I be doin there, anyway? Tromping around in the mud feeling miserable and not really getting anything accomplished anyway. The whole 3 days I did work this week I spent out in the field "pruning" trees. Except these are trees that I've worked most of the summer on, pruning, shaping, steaking, etc etc etc. So, in otherwords, I'm really only doin stuff that I've done before. I go in to work in the morning, and if none of the crews need me, they just send me out to the field to 'work on the trees.' But that really means nothing, cause its all be done already, so I'm really just out there wasting time til 5 when I can go home. I mean, yeah, I'm doin some minor pruning, and straightening of trees, but nothing thats worthy of me being out there 9 hours a day. I'm pretty sure they don't mind too much when I take off the "maybe" days like today, cause it means they don't have to pay me for doin not much of anything anyway. I hate being the one who isn't really needed, and thats what I feel like at my current job.
So, on a day like today, I'm not working, and instead doin nothing at home. Everyone else is either at work or class, and I'm not sure what to do. I mean, I'll do the dishes and such, but that only takes so long. I wanna go to the dark room, but I'm runnin out of stuff to work on there, and its kinda hard to be motivated to do art when theres no venue to show it. I gotta talk to Van Geest and see when the Center Mall art sale is, and if I can get in on it. Not cause I'm lookin to sell dozens of pieces and become rich, but because it'll give me something to aim for and a way to get my stuff out there for people to see. I think I'm also cranky cause OJK hasn't played together in almost 2 weeks. Of course, those of you who don't know what I'm talkin about shrug and say 'who cares', but for me (and I assume the other guys) its a big release, and it really helps me feel better, just to know I'm part of something creative, fun, and that people enjoy. I also am trying to motivate myself to work on other musical stuff too. Like, playing more piano, expanding what I can do on piano (like learn chords, not just playing classical, I'd love to be able to play along with more modern music), and alot more acoustic guitar. The guitar thing is kinda depressing tho, cause I've been tryin, and for the life of me cannot play and sing at the same time. Which is really frustrating. So then I just wanna forget about it, put the guitar down and do something even less productive, such as blog. So, to combat that, I'm gonna be playin with Katie (who is awesome) and we are both gonna be frustrated together trying to play guitar. But, since we're both there, neither of us can just put down the guitar and sulk. Who knows, maybe we'll be the next Gilbert and Sullivan, or Paul and John. I'm conviced that certain very musically talented people (such as McCartney and Lennon, or Simon and Garfunkel) would have never had done anything if they hadn't have played together. In fact, the only reason Paul Simon was into music was because his childhood friend, Arthur Garfunkel won some singing contest in elementary school, and this motivated Simon. Even tho Simon is an awesome songwriter and singer, if it hadn't have been for Garfunkel (the second fiddle as most people consider him), he probably wouldn't have ever gotten anywhere. Although I consider myself to be nowheres near as talented as any of the aforementioned people, I feel that I'm simular to them in the sense that I don't think I could do the music thing on my own, I need to be playing with a band or another person to really feel musical. For me, I need to build off of someone, and have them build off of me.
And now I've gone from writting about being depressed about whatever it is I'm depressed about to stating a major thesis for musical talent, I dunno how that happened. But, anyway, I think I'm gonna head over to campus and peruse the darkroom for a while (hopefully find something to work on) and see if I can't find Van Geest and see about this art sale dealio. As much as I like days off and weekends, I'm hoping I can be more productive with them.
_____ of the day: Wednesday afternoon was one of the most beautiful days I've ever seen.
The I-wish-it-were-some-point-in-the-future Ogukuo
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