Last time that I saw you...

I am blogging instead of organizing an outline for an inservice I am conducting tomorrow. I got a killer title for it tho, "How to Properly Deal with Anger". Ok, its a lame title, probably will be a lame talk as well. I feel kinda dumb, cause everything I'm talking about is probably known better by the people I am talking to.
I'm also listening to Straylight Run right now, they are my happy place. I've only got 'The Needles The Space' right now, but I think I'm gonna get their earlier albums next week if I can. I recommend them, if you like good music.
I'm starting to realize alot of things that I don't want to realize. I've done a pretty good job of hiding life from myself so far, but it seems like it is becoming more and more immenant. Part of me says "great! its time to give up all of this and start acting all grown up" and the rest of me is saying "no, we're gonna fight as hard as we can to avoid real work of any sort". Someone wise once quoted someone not-so-wise as saying "life is unraveling and being woven together". Well, I feel like I'm much more on the unraveling end right now. I've decided to make some pretty big changes in my life over the next year or so, but all I can see right now is what I'm leaving behind. I know what lies ahead is awesome and going to be wonderful, but I don't know how its going to be awesome and wonderful. Mostly what scares me is the complete and utter uncertainty of those changes. I've set up some very safe havens for myself both here and back in CA, but my new life is going to be anchored by (relatively) very little. Don't get me wrong, very little things can be the most important things. Especially when they are as important and special as they are in this case. And, to carry the analogy way too far, smaller anchors for change give me the most room to swing on my own and figure out the rest. If you don't understand, thats ok, the point of this post is that I don't understand either. In theory, once I get a few more of the major details figured out, I'll be much more on the woven together end of life. At least thats what I tell myself...
_______ of the day: "I'm gonna lay here alone/close my eyes and wish for home" - This is the End by Straylight Run
The unwoven Ogukuo