Another "I don't know where my life is goin" blog

Title says it all...
I like my job. Actually, I kinda love it. But its hard. I know I can't do it forever, simple logistics. My life has no rhythm right now. I'll spontaneously have 3 day weekends, 8 day work marathons, days off in the middle of the week, shifts that force me to sleep less than 6 hours a night, and on any given day at 2:30 pm I could be either coming off or going into an 8 hour shift. Any given day I have to wake up at either 5:45 am, or I can sleep in til noon if I want. I can’t make evening plans, cause I work half of the evenings of the week. And on top of the fact that the schedule is leaving my life in shambles, I’m feeling the affects of the stress. Lets face it, this isn’t an easy job, it can be very stressful. I’ve had to go to the doctor for random dizzy spells, diagnosed as being caused by work stress. Now I’m starting to get heartburn. The only constant that could be causing it is stress. I generally don’t show stress, I just kinda let it build up inside. Evidentially this causes dizziness and heartburn. Most of my dreams are now about work. And they aren’t just dreams about work, they are dreams about the bad things related to work. I don’t know what to do.
I also don’t know where I want to be or why I want to be there. A year ago I was dead set on living in Sioux Center. And for good reasons: the people, specifically the college people. Same reason I left California: the people, and the problems related with the people. I still hold to those reasons as being very good ones. But I’ve come to an entirely unexpected realization. The area is killing me. I cant stand it, its all the same! I need mountains and oceans and lakes and rivers. I need to be able to drive an hour and be in an area that is completely different than from where I started. I used to think that people would make all the difference to me and landscape didn’t matter. I’m starting to change my mind on that. I’m starting to think that I need the landscape and the people won’t matter as much. I’ve been making it clear to people (mostly just to convince myself) that I won’t be in NW for much more than a year. The question is where to move to. I’ve got a few choices that are near the top of the list. And I think I could be totally happy in any of the areas. But once again, it comes down to logistics. I have loans. I need to have a job to pay those off. While means a few things: I gotta decide what I wanna do when I get where ever I’m goin, and I gotta find a place to do said job.
I’ve also been kicking around the idea of goin to grad school at some point. My current fascination is Environmental Philosophy. This ties back to needing a beautiful landscape. I’ve always had an interest in the outdoors, and despite being a generally ignored issue, I believe that care for our environment should be on the forefront of every Christians mind. Its nothing short of a damnable sin the way most Christians disregard the topic of our stewardship of God’s Creation. Its one of God’s first commands to mankind! I’ve felt almost convicted to follow this idea, and educate myself as much as I can so I can perform my Christian duty to care for God’s earth. How come when the old ladies in church hear of the nice young man going to seminary, they all smile and are of the ‘you are following God’s calling’ mindset, but when they hear of someone going for something involving the environment, they mutter something about liberal ideals and think that Christians should be spending their time on more important issues? Ok, perhaps I exaggerate a little, but how can we as Christians vastly ignore the care of God’s Creation?
Anyway, I digress. Sorry for yet another long, probably boring post.
______ of the day: When’s the last time you heard a sermon on steward ship?
The confused Ogukuo