Well, the inevitable happened last night. I got into a fight with my Grandma about music. 6 months ago I gave her a copy of Better Than Dead Air: The EP so she could hear what OJK sounded like. Suprisingly her and my Grandpa listened to it alot, had my uncle listen to it, and they liked it. And by like it I mean they didn't throw the CD at a cow. They liked it as much as old people can like rock. She told me there was just something missing about it tho. I held my breath and waited for it.......and she asked if we were a Christian band. I knew it was coming, it has been for a long time now. So I explaned that we were 4 Christian guys in a band. She asked if our lyrics were Christian. This led to a conversation on music and bands and Christian bands and why she thought I was condemned to hell. Ok, she didn't say that, but she did say that we would be much more successful if our music was Christian. Not because of the market for Christian music, but because God blesses those who serve in his kingdom. At this point my dad couldn't take it any longer and asked her (keep in mind this is his Mother In Law) if she believed Rockafeller was the most Christian man to ever live. "Well, no, of course not" she said. The arguement ensued that he was vastly successful in business, and that must have been a direct blessing from God for being such a good Christian. I don't think my grandma liked that any cause it basically shot her theory down to heresy. Needless to say, the conversation soon ended and I (with some well timed and well spoken help from my dad) convinced everyone in the room (with the exclusion of my grandma probably) that an artist in any medium need not be expressly Christian to be influencial, successful or a Christian. So in the end, she said she has no doubt our music will be popular and I probably got myself written out of the will. She said we would be popular, but unless we were expressly Christian, we wouldn't be successful. I'm interested to see if she brings it up again, I kinda hope she does. My dad later thanked me for most likely getting us disowned from the family. Hehehe. I fould the whole thing rather an educational experiance (although it was my grandma who got schooled), and entertaining, especially when my dad jumped in on my side. So thats my grand adventure from the evening.
______ of the day: Hope floats, but kitchen sink.
The 'holey-bread!-break-is-almost-over!' Ogukuo
26 December 2006
And now for something we hold you'll really like
So I celibrated my 2 dozenth Christmas yesterday. I've decided that the best part of Christmas is family. I got a few fun gifts, but the best part of the whole ordeal was card games and throwing around stories with all the cousins. 
Heres one cousin and 4 first cousins once removed. Yup, theres a whole new generation of males in the Van Dyken lineage to carry on the tradition of lacking a girl. So far the tally is up to 6 in my generation and 4 in the next generation sans gf. Of course the oldest of the next gen is only a freshman in highschool, so they have some time.
Here's the parental units being all jolly and such.
Here's Grandpa. He was celibrating his 94th Christmas. Most of his gifts were chocolate, which he was more than willing to share :).
So one of my gifts was a new digital camera, which is to thank for new addition of pictures to my blog. Its a fun toy. Can't wait to get back and do some shooting around with friends at parties like everyone else. And I can show off all the pictures of my family and place of dwelling. I've finally given into digital, but of course, strictly for the reason of capturing memories. I'll stick to film for the artistic realm. Hopefully I'll capture some of that later this week. I hope to head up to the mountains and to see them and perhaps shoot a few shots. That is, assuming it clears up by then. Its supposed to be raining here tonight and tomorrow. At least its not terribly cold, somewheres in the 50s.
Ok, I suppose thats all I have for now. I'm sure I'll have more to say once I've gotten together with my old buddies later this week. Crazy times (such as a game of Risk) are always around the corner with this group!! Maybe even a rousing game of "remember in high school when..." Oh yeah, crazy dangerous group.
______ of the day: Commas are raining in the chit-chat area of sector G.
The Christmas'd Ogukuo
Heres one cousin and 4 first cousins once removed. Yup, theres a whole new generation of males in the Van Dyken lineage to carry on the tradition of lacking a girl. So far the tally is up to 6 in my generation and 4 in the next generation sans gf. Of course the oldest of the next gen is only a freshman in highschool, so they have some time.
Here's the parental units being all jolly and such.
Here's Grandpa. He was celibrating his 94th Christmas. Most of his gifts were chocolate, which he was more than willing to share :).
So one of my gifts was a new digital camera, which is to thank for new addition of pictures to my blog. Its a fun toy. Can't wait to get back and do some shooting around with friends at parties like everyone else. And I can show off all the pictures of my family and place of dwelling. I've finally given into digital, but of course, strictly for the reason of capturing memories. I'll stick to film for the artistic realm. Hopefully I'll capture some of that later this week. I hope to head up to the mountains and to see them and perhaps shoot a few shots. That is, assuming it clears up by then. Its supposed to be raining here tonight and tomorrow. At least its not terribly cold, somewheres in the 50s.
Ok, I suppose thats all I have for now. I'm sure I'll have more to say once I've gotten together with my old buddies later this week. Crazy times (such as a game of Risk) are always around the corner with this group!! Maybe even a rousing game of "remember in high school when..." Oh yeah, crazy dangerous group.
______ of the day: Commas are raining in the chit-chat area of sector G.
The Christmas'd Ogukuo
21 December 2006
Friends and Theology (not related, just my chosen rant topics tonight)
People are leaving, most have left. Some I'll never see again. Or rarely will. I miss them already. Maybe sticking around Dordt will make things harder in the long run. Instead of a clean break, I deal with losing friends every few months. So heres a question, is it worth sticking around for the quality times you know you'll have if it also prolongs the pain of goodbyes? I could be back in CA right now not caring about people leaving Dordt. My mood would be better, I'd be happier. But I'd also have missed all the fun of this past semester. And the fun of this coming semester, even tho its gonna suck with people leave in May as well. I dunno what the answer is. Maybe its a good life lesson. Or maybe I'll keep stronger long distance friendships with these people because I stuck around. Time will tell, I guess.
Saturday I head down to Blair, NE. As near as I can tell, I get to bake brownies and Christmas cookies, have spagetti for supper, and sleep on a sofa bed. Yay. I'm looking forward to it. And Sunday I head to Eppley Airfield, Denver, Sacramento, and home (God and weather willing, mostly God, of course). This will be the first time flying on a Sunday. Perhaps that doesn't sound like a big deal, but it is to me. I really wanted to book a flight on Friday or Saturday, but Sunday being Christmas Eve, it was much cheaper (and it had to do with work sch, among other things). Growing up, Sunday was reserved for church, family time, relaxation, and naps. We never went out to eat, shopping, or even gassed up the car. Nothing that would require us to "work", or to make others "work". I still try to avoid eating out or shopping or anything like that on Sunday. I know, that sounds old fashioned and very letter of the law. I struggle with what to make of the whole thing. Of course, theres the OT law, very strict and rule oriented, and the NT interpretation by Jesus that encouraged the spirit of the law, but how far before the meaning is lost altogether? I guess for me, Sunday is more about what you do, not what you don't do. And by doing something like flying, I believe I'm missing out on the important aspects of Sunday, such as relaxing. And I could try to justify it by saying I'll nap on the plane, or I can read the Bible on my layover. Way to aspire to that letter of the law!! I know Pastor Herm did a sermon a while back on the meaning of the Sabboth, and he came to a very different conclusion than what I hold to. So does that mean I'm wrong? Of course, if I come to the conclusion that I agree with him, it goes against what was taught in the church I grew up in, so would that make me wrong? What a wonderful catch-22. So the answer is I don't know. Perhaps it isn't a defined sin to grocery shop on Sunday or go out for coffee after church. But its something I personally am gonna try to avoid. And please don't take this as me preaching at you if you do those things on Sunday, I'm not. I'm merely working it out in my own mind. You're just lucky (or bored) enough to come along for the ride.
So, as with so many other posts, I again have no idea where this came from, just a rant. Now I turn to the panel for your input....
_____ of the day: Today is the first day of winter, 4:30 am, in Iowa, and its raining outside!! Not snowing, sleeting, freezing rain, no, real rain!!!!
The breaked Ogukuo
Saturday I head down to Blair, NE. As near as I can tell, I get to bake brownies and Christmas cookies, have spagetti for supper, and sleep on a sofa bed. Yay. I'm looking forward to it. And Sunday I head to Eppley Airfield, Denver, Sacramento, and home (God and weather willing, mostly God, of course). This will be the first time flying on a Sunday. Perhaps that doesn't sound like a big deal, but it is to me. I really wanted to book a flight on Friday or Saturday, but Sunday being Christmas Eve, it was much cheaper (and it had to do with work sch, among other things). Growing up, Sunday was reserved for church, family time, relaxation, and naps. We never went out to eat, shopping, or even gassed up the car. Nothing that would require us to "work", or to make others "work". I still try to avoid eating out or shopping or anything like that on Sunday. I know, that sounds old fashioned and very letter of the law. I struggle with what to make of the whole thing. Of course, theres the OT law, very strict and rule oriented, and the NT interpretation by Jesus that encouraged the spirit of the law, but how far before the meaning is lost altogether? I guess for me, Sunday is more about what you do, not what you don't do. And by doing something like flying, I believe I'm missing out on the important aspects of Sunday, such as relaxing. And I could try to justify it by saying I'll nap on the plane, or I can read the Bible on my layover. Way to aspire to that letter of the law!! I know Pastor Herm did a sermon a while back on the meaning of the Sabboth, and he came to a very different conclusion than what I hold to. So does that mean I'm wrong? Of course, if I come to the conclusion that I agree with him, it goes against what was taught in the church I grew up in, so would that make me wrong? What a wonderful catch-22. So the answer is I don't know. Perhaps it isn't a defined sin to grocery shop on Sunday or go out for coffee after church. But its something I personally am gonna try to avoid. And please don't take this as me preaching at you if you do those things on Sunday, I'm not. I'm merely working it out in my own mind. You're just lucky (or bored) enough to come along for the ride.
So, as with so many other posts, I again have no idea where this came from, just a rant. Now I turn to the panel for your input....
_____ of the day: Today is the first day of winter, 4:30 am, in Iowa, and its raining outside!! Not snowing, sleeting, freezing rain, no, real rain!!!!
The breaked Ogukuo
18 December 2006
The greatest thing you'll ever learn...
is just to love and be loved in return.
I watched Moulin Rouge! tonight, but you coulda figured that out by the blog title if you've seen the movie. I liked it. I watched it a few years ago and didn't like it then. I'm pretty sure the movie hasn't changed... huh. Its evidentially part of an unofficial trilogy by director Baz Luhrmann. Its part 3, Romeo+Juliet is part 2, and Strictly Ballroom is part 1. Never heard of Strictly Ballroom, but I really like the other two, so I think I’ll check it out.
The weekend is over. I’m back to work for the week. But only til Friday morning, then I’m off for the rest of the year! Yay!! This weekend was a good weekend, over all. Went to morning church for the first time in a month today. Probably won’t again for quite a while . People seem to like condemning me for that. I guess it makes them feel extra holy or something. Good for them, if it gives them a self-serving high, who am I to reign down reality on them?
I think Christmas dinner with my family is gonna be interesting. Mostly cause I’ve changed, as in my taste in music, movies, views on politics, etc. I think I may be a bit outside of the “mainstream” of the rest of my family now. Lively discussion is eminent. And I look forward to it.
I’ve lost track of this post, so instead of wandering aimlessly thru random thoughts I’m just gonna pull the brakes now and save you a lot of time and eye rolling.
_______ of the day: the first part appears easy to fall into, but the second part seems to be impossible to attain.
The staying Ogukuo
I watched Moulin Rouge! tonight, but you coulda figured that out by the blog title if you've seen the movie. I liked it. I watched it a few years ago and didn't like it then. I'm pretty sure the movie hasn't changed... huh. Its evidentially part of an unofficial trilogy by director Baz Luhrmann. Its part 3, Romeo+Juliet is part 2, and Strictly Ballroom is part 1. Never heard of Strictly Ballroom, but I really like the other two, so I think I’ll check it out.
The weekend is over. I’m back to work for the week. But only til Friday morning, then I’m off for the rest of the year! Yay!! This weekend was a good weekend, over all. Went to morning church for the first time in a month today. Probably won’t again for quite a while . People seem to like condemning me for that. I guess it makes them feel extra holy or something. Good for them, if it gives them a self-serving high, who am I to reign down reality on them?
I think Christmas dinner with my family is gonna be interesting. Mostly cause I’ve changed, as in my taste in music, movies, views on politics, etc. I think I may be a bit outside of the “mainstream” of the rest of my family now. Lively discussion is eminent. And I look forward to it.
I’ve lost track of this post, so instead of wandering aimlessly thru random thoughts I’m just gonna pull the brakes now and save you a lot of time and eye rolling.
_______ of the day: the first part appears easy to fall into, but the second part seems to be impossible to attain.
The staying Ogukuo
14 December 2006
When darkness turns to light
Wednesday already. Well, Thursday, actually. For some reason this week is goin fast. WHich means this weekend will too, not good. I haven't posted in a while, but thats because I don't have anything to say really. Sunday night was cool, a very good show over all, not personally, but over all. Some connections made, friends made, fun time had, brownies eaten, Beej rocked.
A week from now I'll be getting ready to head home. I'm a little worried. I'm only gonna have 5 days or so to split between several different groups of people, all of whom I want to see and spend time with. And hopefully some time by myself. For the past 6 months I have wanted nothing more than to drive up into the mountains and spend some time just soaking it in. When I'm home I'll have that chance. If I can get away for a day to do it. No planned stops, no camera, no sled, only my senses to remember what true beauty is. I think we all need that once in a while. Sadly we rarely realize it, and even rarerly search it out. I'm gonna try. My heart could also use a refill on family and old friends. I fear coming back here and being hit by the full reality that is January.
Thats all for now folks.
_______ of the day: When all you got to keep is strong, move along move along
The moving-along Ogukuo
A week from now I'll be getting ready to head home. I'm a little worried. I'm only gonna have 5 days or so to split between several different groups of people, all of whom I want to see and spend time with. And hopefully some time by myself. For the past 6 months I have wanted nothing more than to drive up into the mountains and spend some time just soaking it in. When I'm home I'll have that chance. If I can get away for a day to do it. No planned stops, no camera, no sled, only my senses to remember what true beauty is. I think we all need that once in a while. Sadly we rarely realize it, and even rarerly search it out. I'm gonna try. My heart could also use a refill on family and old friends. I fear coming back here and being hit by the full reality that is January.
Thats all for now folks.
_______ of the day: When all you got to keep is strong, move along move along
The moving-along Ogukuo
10 December 2006
A good 3 point CRC sermon. Err, post I mean.
I think staying up all night has allowed me to really think about life and come to some conclusions about it. And I mean general conclusions, of course, I still don't know any specifics. So tonights ramblings consist of three parts: pt. 1, moving on; pt. 2, job; pt. 3, the future.
Part one: Moving on. It suddenly struck me (since I've been trying to deny it for a while) that several of my closest friends will not be around next semester, or after that, in most cases. It brings a tear to my eye, literally. I have a few more weeks, and then those relationships as I know them are over. I want as much time with you (and you know who you are) now while I can. I guess that makes me selfish. Or human. But, this isn't all bad. I mean people moving away is, but we have a new roommate for next semester, and people basically lining up for this summer. May not sound like a big deal, but it is to me, being rather poor and wanting roomies to spread the wealth and to hang out with. Yay for people who are sticking around :).
Part two: The job. Yeah, this is an interesting one. I'm really enjoying it, sans ending my social life at 10 pm most nights. I enjoy the free time at work, I enjoy being able to bake at work (hopefully more of that in the future), and most of all I think I'm going to enjoy working with the boys. Obviously right now I don't have much contact with them, but I know I'll be working some morning shifts at some point, and perhaps even days sooner or later. And I'm looking forward to it. I know these kids can have behavioral problems, but from everyone has said, its alot of fun to work with them, and they are really great guys. I'm looking forward to finding out for myself.
Part three: The future. So, here it is. I'm a California boy. Always have been, and evidentally always will be. Living in NW Iowa for the past 6 months I've come to realize how much I miss California. A few nights ago I was driving into work and was on a rather flat part of the country side, and for some reason the lights and trees and whatever suddenly looked just like an area along a road out in the country I drive down frequently back in CA. My heart skipped a beat, I wanted so badly to be back there. And today I got a package from my parents that had fresh oranges from our orange tree in our yard, as well as polmagranates. I've been eating oranges all summer, and what I got tonight was 10 times better than the best orange I ever bought in a store here. I miss mountains, the ocean, fresh fruit, fresh vegitables, the weather, and all that goes along with those things. And a million other small things. Ok, I know, I do have a ton of reasons why I dont like CA, and they still stand, but man, I really really miss all the things on the plus side. I've come to the conclusion that for the sake of myself I'm gonna have to move back to California sooner or later if nothing else convinces me otherwise. Such as finding someplace better. Sorry to Iowa people, but Iowa ain't it.
So thats that. Lemme know what you think.
______ of the day: Easy come, easy go, but what if it doesn't come easy?
The _______ Ogukuo
Part one: Moving on. It suddenly struck me (since I've been trying to deny it for a while) that several of my closest friends will not be around next semester, or after that, in most cases. It brings a tear to my eye, literally. I have a few more weeks, and then those relationships as I know them are over. I want as much time with you (and you know who you are) now while I can. I guess that makes me selfish. Or human. But, this isn't all bad. I mean people moving away is, but we have a new roommate for next semester, and people basically lining up for this summer. May not sound like a big deal, but it is to me, being rather poor and wanting roomies to spread the wealth and to hang out with. Yay for people who are sticking around :).
Part two: The job. Yeah, this is an interesting one. I'm really enjoying it, sans ending my social life at 10 pm most nights. I enjoy the free time at work, I enjoy being able to bake at work (hopefully more of that in the future), and most of all I think I'm going to enjoy working with the boys. Obviously right now I don't have much contact with them, but I know I'll be working some morning shifts at some point, and perhaps even days sooner or later. And I'm looking forward to it. I know these kids can have behavioral problems, but from everyone has said, its alot of fun to work with them, and they are really great guys. I'm looking forward to finding out for myself.
Part three: The future. So, here it is. I'm a California boy. Always have been, and evidentally always will be. Living in NW Iowa for the past 6 months I've come to realize how much I miss California. A few nights ago I was driving into work and was on a rather flat part of the country side, and for some reason the lights and trees and whatever suddenly looked just like an area along a road out in the country I drive down frequently back in CA. My heart skipped a beat, I wanted so badly to be back there. And today I got a package from my parents that had fresh oranges from our orange tree in our yard, as well as polmagranates. I've been eating oranges all summer, and what I got tonight was 10 times better than the best orange I ever bought in a store here. I miss mountains, the ocean, fresh fruit, fresh vegitables, the weather, and all that goes along with those things. And a million other small things. Ok, I know, I do have a ton of reasons why I dont like CA, and they still stand, but man, I really really miss all the things on the plus side. I've come to the conclusion that for the sake of myself I'm gonna have to move back to California sooner or later if nothing else convinces me otherwise. Such as finding someplace better. Sorry to Iowa people, but Iowa ain't it.
So thats that. Lemme know what you think.
______ of the day: Easy come, easy go, but what if it doesn't come easy?
The _______ Ogukuo
08 December 2006
Free time!
Wow, for the first time in 5 days I had a few free hours tonight where I wasn't working, sleeping, or driving between the two aforementioned activities. It was odd, I felt guilty sitting in the bean talking with friends. And at the same time, it was rapturous! Ok, dunno if thats a word, or if it is, if its slightly sputtonous. Probably not, oh well. It was like being at the townhouse on a weekend, but it was in the bean, the group of people was fun and exciting.
In a matter of 3 short hours I will be goin home to experiance a break of 40 hours from work, oh joy! And the highlight of those 40 hours will be the 1/2 hour I spend on stage tomorrow night at our show. Its been a while since we had a show, I'm glad we're having one again. Er, two again, since we have one on Sunday as well. And Jeff is back in town!! (or should be by this time, at least). So looking forward to seeing him. Hes one of those guys who I never really got to know, cause I met him too late and he left too soon, but I know hes a cool guy, and very much look forward to seeing him.
So I'm on two pages right now, one blogging, and the other looking at a Fender Jaguar. It is very pretty. And very expensive (by my standards). Wanna get me a Christmas present?? :) Ideally that will be my next big musical purchase, but who knows. If I actually start playing piano like I should and want to, perhaps I'll buy a decent keyboard first. And by keyboard I mean more like electric piano, or whatever you call those nice ones, not something that sounds like pain being delivered thru a 3 1/2 inch speaker. I should start taking lessons again not because I need to learn, but to force myself to actually practice.
Ok, I could go on, but then I'd never end, once again I apologize for a long post, and congradulate and thank you if you made it all the way thru.
_______ of the day: any one else like The Fray?
The in-the-dark Ogukuo
In a matter of 3 short hours I will be goin home to experiance a break of 40 hours from work, oh joy! And the highlight of those 40 hours will be the 1/2 hour I spend on stage tomorrow night at our show. Its been a while since we had a show, I'm glad we're having one again. Er, two again, since we have one on Sunday as well. And Jeff is back in town!! (or should be by this time, at least). So looking forward to seeing him. Hes one of those guys who I never really got to know, cause I met him too late and he left too soon, but I know hes a cool guy, and very much look forward to seeing him.
So I'm on two pages right now, one blogging, and the other looking at a Fender Jaguar. It is very pretty. And very expensive (by my standards). Wanna get me a Christmas present?? :) Ideally that will be my next big musical purchase, but who knows. If I actually start playing piano like I should and want to, perhaps I'll buy a decent keyboard first. And by keyboard I mean more like electric piano, or whatever you call those nice ones, not something that sounds like pain being delivered thru a 3 1/2 inch speaker. I should start taking lessons again not because I need to learn, but to force myself to actually practice.
Ok, I could go on, but then I'd never end, once again I apologize for a long post, and congradulate and thank you if you made it all the way thru.
_______ of the day: any one else like The Fray?
The in-the-dark Ogukuo
06 December 2006
Oops, I forgot a title
Greetings and welcome to another mid night fireside talk. I'm writing a bit early tonight, but I'm trying to avoid watching tv all night at work. I've kinda done that the last few nights, and I wanna get something productive done instead. Wait a minute, I'm blogging!! Well, its not tv, its a step in the right direction.
I had my first dream about work last night. Normally I'm off work at 6:30 just when the kids are getting up, but a a few times now I've stuck around for the morning ruitine of showers, breakfast, etc. That'll prolly happen more with bad weather delaying the morning people from coming in. Anyway, my dream was about the morning shift. And its wierd, cause it was partially very realistic, like I was actually in the home where I work, the kids I work with were here, and the layout was all the same. And I was helping them thru the morning ruitine that I'd actually be helping them with. But the dream was also very odd, cause there was one door in the room that lead to an indoor tennis court (FYI, that doesn't exist for realsies here). So when I had a few minutes between getting the boys ready and doin room checks, etc (which does happen, theres always a few breaks in the ruitine) I would step in there and play some tennis. I'd play for a while, then go back and keep the boys moving and getting ready for school. I dunno, very strange. Analize me, I'm sure its a sign of something.
On an unrelated note, I realized something yesterday (or Sunday, I dunno with my new sleeping sch its really hard to tell what "yesterday", "today", and "tomorrow" mean anymore). My group of 6 buds from highschool are all gonna be in Ripon over Christmas break. Kinda rare that we'll all be there at the same time, hasn't happened more than a few times since HS grad. Looking forward to it, should be some quality catching up time (most likely over lunch at Pizza Plus and a game of Risk, hurray for silly traditions!!). However, I realized that in the 5 years (yikes!!) since graduating HS, one of my old friends is married, 2 more are gonna be this summer, and all 5 of the guys besides me have "real" jobs. And here I am working the graveyard shift at a temporary job. Ok, its full time, pays decently, and I get some perks like paid days off, etc, but its by no means what I would call a career. And I have no hint of a girl. Seems like I'm kinda running last in the race. And part of me feels bad about it, since they are all getting settled into life and I'm not, while part of me is glad. I mean, I like still hanging out with all the college kids, having social gatherings every weekend and basically living bachelor life to its fullest (as in a messy room and unmade bed). And obviously there would be a significant sacrafice there when I find a job and/or girl. I was talking to someone this past weekend about how that special someone will change me. And duh, of course thats gonna happen. And finding a career type job will change me too. Part of me wants those changes, and part of my doesn't. And the part of me that doesn't seems to be holding on pretty strong since I'm taking no major steps towards changing either of those areas. Its gonna be interesting to look back in 5 years and see how I progress from a 23 year old hanging on to college life to being more settled down and living a "real" life. That is, assuming that in 5 years I've reached that point, tough to say. Who knows, by then I may be traveling the country in the biggest band since the Beatles.
Well, I have pleanty more to say, but I'll save it for later.
___________________ of the day: Thats an awefully big ____, I don't think I have anything profound enough to fill it
The "I'm 2/3 the way thru my 13 hour work day! yay!" Ogukuo
I had my first dream about work last night. Normally I'm off work at 6:30 just when the kids are getting up, but a a few times now I've stuck around for the morning ruitine of showers, breakfast, etc. That'll prolly happen more with bad weather delaying the morning people from coming in. Anyway, my dream was about the morning shift. And its wierd, cause it was partially very realistic, like I was actually in the home where I work, the kids I work with were here, and the layout was all the same. And I was helping them thru the morning ruitine that I'd actually be helping them with. But the dream was also very odd, cause there was one door in the room that lead to an indoor tennis court (FYI, that doesn't exist for realsies here). So when I had a few minutes between getting the boys ready and doin room checks, etc (which does happen, theres always a few breaks in the ruitine) I would step in there and play some tennis. I'd play for a while, then go back and keep the boys moving and getting ready for school. I dunno, very strange. Analize me, I'm sure its a sign of something.
On an unrelated note, I realized something yesterday (or Sunday, I dunno with my new sleeping sch its really hard to tell what "yesterday", "today", and "tomorrow" mean anymore). My group of 6 buds from highschool are all gonna be in Ripon over Christmas break. Kinda rare that we'll all be there at the same time, hasn't happened more than a few times since HS grad. Looking forward to it, should be some quality catching up time (most likely over lunch at Pizza Plus and a game of Risk, hurray for silly traditions!!). However, I realized that in the 5 years (yikes!!) since graduating HS, one of my old friends is married, 2 more are gonna be this summer, and all 5 of the guys besides me have "real" jobs. And here I am working the graveyard shift at a temporary job. Ok, its full time, pays decently, and I get some perks like paid days off, etc, but its by no means what I would call a career. And I have no hint of a girl. Seems like I'm kinda running last in the race. And part of me feels bad about it, since they are all getting settled into life and I'm not, while part of me is glad. I mean, I like still hanging out with all the college kids, having social gatherings every weekend and basically living bachelor life to its fullest (as in a messy room and unmade bed). And obviously there would be a significant sacrafice there when I find a job and/or girl. I was talking to someone this past weekend about how that special someone will change me. And duh, of course thats gonna happen. And finding a career type job will change me too. Part of me wants those changes, and part of my doesn't. And the part of me that doesn't seems to be holding on pretty strong since I'm taking no major steps towards changing either of those areas. Its gonna be interesting to look back in 5 years and see how I progress from a 23 year old hanging on to college life to being more settled down and living a "real" life. That is, assuming that in 5 years I've reached that point, tough to say. Who knows, by then I may be traveling the country in the biggest band since the Beatles.
Well, I have pleanty more to say, but I'll save it for later.
___________________ of the day: Thats an awefully big ____, I don't think I have anything profound enough to fill it
The "I'm 2/3 the way thru my 13 hour work day! yay!" Ogukuo
03 December 2006
Status Quo
I've come to a few realizations the past few days. First, I'm glad to be alive, and second, I want to be musical.
For anyone who is feeling down about life, I highly recommend watching Garden State. I watched it a few nights ago at work, and it made me so glad to be alive. I dunno, it just seemed to kinda kick me and say "hey, live life to its fullest, enjoy what you have, strive for what you don't, and cut your losses for what you can't have". Good words to hear, even in the abstract. Not to mention some recent events in my life have made me very grateful for what I have and what I take for granted. You probably don't know what I'm talking about, but be thankful with me for certain things that arn't nearly as bad as they could have been. I think being away from family is taking its toll. Being home for Christmas and seeing those who are the closest to me will be a very very good thing. I just wish they new me better for who I am and what I do. As much as I love my family, I don't think they get how much art and music play a part in my life. I guess its my job to try to enlighten them.
I also am going to try from this point on to make a concerted effort to spend more time playing piano, guitar, and writing music. Since those talents don't exactly shine at this point I want to work on them so that I can be more accomplished in them. I know somewhere buried deep down I really have a talent for music, its just a matter of finding it and practicing and bringing it out. And not working on that would be wasteful and sinful and just plain a shame. God, please give me discipline.
_______ of the day: I'll take boring over tragic
The thankful Ogukuo
For anyone who is feeling down about life, I highly recommend watching Garden State. I watched it a few nights ago at work, and it made me so glad to be alive. I dunno, it just seemed to kinda kick me and say "hey, live life to its fullest, enjoy what you have, strive for what you don't, and cut your losses for what you can't have". Good words to hear, even in the abstract. Not to mention some recent events in my life have made me very grateful for what I have and what I take for granted. You probably don't know what I'm talking about, but be thankful with me for certain things that arn't nearly as bad as they could have been. I think being away from family is taking its toll. Being home for Christmas and seeing those who are the closest to me will be a very very good thing. I just wish they new me better for who I am and what I do. As much as I love my family, I don't think they get how much art and music play a part in my life. I guess its my job to try to enlighten them.
I also am going to try from this point on to make a concerted effort to spend more time playing piano, guitar, and writing music. Since those talents don't exactly shine at this point I want to work on them so that I can be more accomplished in them. I know somewhere buried deep down I really have a talent for music, its just a matter of finding it and practicing and bringing it out. And not working on that would be wasteful and sinful and just plain a shame. God, please give me discipline.
_______ of the day: I'll take boring over tragic
The thankful Ogukuo
30 November 2006
And then this comes
About 12 hours ago a young man from North Hall passed on. Out of the blue, totally unexpected. I didn't know him. But I feel a connection to him through community. Already last night there was a prayer service. I saw many people affected by his absence, most of whom didn't know him.
Hearing of his death reminded me of 3 young men from my high school who died too young as well. One by a car accident, one by a heart defect, and one by his own hand. Each one a special boy, as I'm sure Jon was.
Say a prayer for his family, his friends, and his community.
Hearing of his death reminded me of 3 young men from my high school who died too young as well. One by a car accident, one by a heart defect, and one by his own hand. Each one a special boy, as I'm sure Jon was.
Say a prayer for his family, his friends, and his community.
29 November 2006
Sorry, its a long one...
So my last post went kinda ranty about having lots of stuff and being rich and yet unsatisfied. The truth is, I am satisfied with what I have. I mean, in the broad sense I am, of course there are those times when I really wish I had whatever the toy of the moment is. Sometimes its new guitar stuff, sometimes its something completely random that I would probably never use.
But I was thinking about it, and the thing I usually find myself wanting more of is human relationships. And I know I have that, I have wonderful friends, and I love you all, but I know I could be better at it, as in a better friend. That’s where a real richness is, not in whatever toys I have. I realized at some point that I’m usually making my, shall we say, negative posts whenever I haven’t been hanging out with friends for a while. They don’t come after not watching tv for a while, or after my computer goes down. And that’s why I love the weekend, not cause I have more free time to sit in front of the tv, but that’s when people come over. It’s also why I love hanging out in the Bean or in the art area. I usually find people there to talk to and hang out with. Of course, part of human relationships is also that ever so elusive relationship with a member of the opposite gender. But, yeah, I’ll take what I can get for now. And for now that’s great friendships, and I’m very happy with those. Hopefully any future elusive exclusive relationship doesn’t detract from my other friendships, that’d just suck.
I like my life right now. It’s by no means perfect, or even ideal, but I am so thankful for what I do have. I have wonderful friendships, I’m close to a community that I feel I’m part of, and access to means to create art. For the past year or so I’ve been dreading growing up and eventually moving on with my life, and I’m trying to get over that. If I spend all my time cringing because I know in a few years my life will be different than it is now, I’m gonna miss what is actually happening around me. That’s a tough one to fight with. I guess it’s because I like my life now, and knowing that it’ll be changing is not a happy thought. At least the uncertainty of what it will bring is. Who knows, maybe in 3 years I’ll be married and have a wonderful life starting somewhere else besides Dordt. Ok, its unlikely, but possible.
Ever find yourself wondering when God is going to show you the way your life is going to go? As if you feel like you life is kinda paused and nothing is really happening and that at some point something needs to happen to give your life direction? And then you look back on the past several years and realized that its already happening? That life isn’t really on hold, that it is happening and just because it isn’t coming easy doesn’t mean its not happening. I think I’m starting to get there. I always picture my life starting when I get married and I have my own house and a real “normal” job. Then I’ll have everything figured out, I’ll know what the rest of my life will be like. Yeah, fat chance. I won’t know then, and I don’t know now. Although, granted, I will have a better idea what my life will look like when those things happen, but it’ll also lead to more questions.
Ok, I don’t know where I’m going with any of this, so take it for what its worth. I fear that my new job allowing my copious amounts of time to blog isn’t going to be good for my long blog habit. With the time I have, the blogs are gonna get longer and longer. Hopefully with meaningful content, but I guess we’ll see about that. For now I’ll call it quits, hopefully your not banging your head against the wall at this point.
______ of the day: More rants on material possessions to follow?The working Ogukuo
But I was thinking about it, and the thing I usually find myself wanting more of is human relationships. And I know I have that, I have wonderful friends, and I love you all, but I know I could be better at it, as in a better friend. That’s where a real richness is, not in whatever toys I have. I realized at some point that I’m usually making my, shall we say, negative posts whenever I haven’t been hanging out with friends for a while. They don’t come after not watching tv for a while, or after my computer goes down. And that’s why I love the weekend, not cause I have more free time to sit in front of the tv, but that’s when people come over. It’s also why I love hanging out in the Bean or in the art area. I usually find people there to talk to and hang out with. Of course, part of human relationships is also that ever so elusive relationship with a member of the opposite gender. But, yeah, I’ll take what I can get for now. And for now that’s great friendships, and I’m very happy with those. Hopefully any future elusive exclusive relationship doesn’t detract from my other friendships, that’d just suck.
I like my life right now. It’s by no means perfect, or even ideal, but I am so thankful for what I do have. I have wonderful friendships, I’m close to a community that I feel I’m part of, and access to means to create art. For the past year or so I’ve been dreading growing up and eventually moving on with my life, and I’m trying to get over that. If I spend all my time cringing because I know in a few years my life will be different than it is now, I’m gonna miss what is actually happening around me. That’s a tough one to fight with. I guess it’s because I like my life now, and knowing that it’ll be changing is not a happy thought. At least the uncertainty of what it will bring is. Who knows, maybe in 3 years I’ll be married and have a wonderful life starting somewhere else besides Dordt. Ok, its unlikely, but possible.
Ever find yourself wondering when God is going to show you the way your life is going to go? As if you feel like you life is kinda paused and nothing is really happening and that at some point something needs to happen to give your life direction? And then you look back on the past several years and realized that its already happening? That life isn’t really on hold, that it is happening and just because it isn’t coming easy doesn’t mean its not happening. I think I’m starting to get there. I always picture my life starting when I get married and I have my own house and a real “normal” job. Then I’ll have everything figured out, I’ll know what the rest of my life will be like. Yeah, fat chance. I won’t know then, and I don’t know now. Although, granted, I will have a better idea what my life will look like when those things happen, but it’ll also lead to more questions.
Ok, I don’t know where I’m going with any of this, so take it for what its worth. I fear that my new job allowing my copious amounts of time to blog isn’t going to be good for my long blog habit. With the time I have, the blogs are gonna get longer and longer. Hopefully with meaningful content, but I guess we’ll see about that. For now I’ll call it quits, hopefully your not banging your head against the wall at this point.
______ of the day: More rants on material possessions to follow?The working Ogukuo
27 November 2006
What time is it?
So, I came to the conclusion that its Monday a few hours ago. It took me a while to figure that one out. Cause my timeline has been all screwed up the past week or so without a steady job and with everyone gone. And because I'vd worked 2 overnights now, so my body is still trying to figure that out. Last night my car decided it no longer wanted to have headlights, so it didn't. Thankfully Andrea is wonderful and let me take her car to work. Unthankfully, my boss decided I should see what the morning ruitine is like this morning. So that means that instead of goin home at 6:30 being totally exhausted, I went home at 9 being beyond totally exhausted. All in all, I didn't get to bed til 10 this morning after getting up at 1 yesterday afternoon. So thats what, 21 straight hours? Ick, this job is gonna be tough. I got up at 4ish this afternoon, and now its 11 pm, I have the night off and don't know what to do. If I go to bed anytime before 4 am I'll be totally screwed for tomorrow nights shift, but I dunno what to do for the next 5 hours. I don't wanna watch movies or anything, cause thats what I'll be doin at work, so I dont wanna get sick of them already. And the Bean isn't open yet cause its still technically break. So I'm sitting at home, maybe I'll ride back to campus soon and see if I get lucky and snag someone walkin around campus.
I think I'm coming to the conclusion that it doesn't matter what I want. Either I'm not gonna get it, or I am, or I am going to eventually. I speak broadly here, of course, I mean in respect to all of life. But, for some reason it also seems like its the first senerio, where I don't get it. Of course, thats the selfish me speaking, the me that grew up in North America having everything I need, and pretty much anything I want. Ok, I can throw out a sob story about living in an unfinished basement and having a crappy job and whatever, but I have a job and a place to live and a car (two actually, as of tonight), and wonderful friends, and most everything else thats considered an extreme luxary by the rest of the world. And, of course, I take it all for granted. Every single thing I have I take for granted. Does that make me a bad person? Yeah, it does. I've been considering for the past six months or so eventually moving down to Guatemala to work with a mission that I did some work thru in the past. The family I worked for down there had no running water, no water at all actually except for what was caught when it rained. We built them a sistern to store that water. They lived in a concrete block house with no doors, windows or interior walls. It was a 3 generation family living in there. And somehow I still find time to complan about the fact that I live in the basement of a solid house with 3 tvs in it, 3 computers, at least 4 guitars, a piano, indoor plumbing, enough furnerature to seat at least 2 dozen people and a kitchen thats usually stocked with pleanty of food. Has my life gotten that pathetic that I've forgotten "the little things" that a majority of people in the world only dream about?
Ok, dunno where that rant came from, but its true. Well, its true, but its also very false, I'll leave that for the next post tho.
_______ of the day: hurray for material possessions meaning nothing
The too-rich Ogukuo
I think I'm coming to the conclusion that it doesn't matter what I want. Either I'm not gonna get it, or I am, or I am going to eventually. I speak broadly here, of course, I mean in respect to all of life. But, for some reason it also seems like its the first senerio, where I don't get it. Of course, thats the selfish me speaking, the me that grew up in North America having everything I need, and pretty much anything I want. Ok, I can throw out a sob story about living in an unfinished basement and having a crappy job and whatever, but I have a job and a place to live and a car (two actually, as of tonight), and wonderful friends, and most everything else thats considered an extreme luxary by the rest of the world. And, of course, I take it all for granted. Every single thing I have I take for granted. Does that make me a bad person? Yeah, it does. I've been considering for the past six months or so eventually moving down to Guatemala to work with a mission that I did some work thru in the past. The family I worked for down there had no running water, no water at all actually except for what was caught when it rained. We built them a sistern to store that water. They lived in a concrete block house with no doors, windows or interior walls. It was a 3 generation family living in there. And somehow I still find time to complan about the fact that I live in the basement of a solid house with 3 tvs in it, 3 computers, at least 4 guitars, a piano, indoor plumbing, enough furnerature to seat at least 2 dozen people and a kitchen thats usually stocked with pleanty of food. Has my life gotten that pathetic that I've forgotten "the little things" that a majority of people in the world only dream about?
Ok, dunno where that rant came from, but its true. Well, its true, but its also very false, I'll leave that for the next post tho.
_______ of the day: hurray for material possessions meaning nothing
The too-rich Ogukuo
25 November 2006
So long, free Saturday night
So I start my new job tonight, full shift tonight, full shift tomorrow night. I'm scared. Not cause of the job itself, but because I'll be out of synch with everyone else. My life will sorta be turned upside down as it were. My nights will always end at 10 no matter what, cause I'll need to leave for work then. I won't be goin to morning church anymore, 10 am will be like 3 in the morning for me. Hopefully I can adjust to sleeping during the day, if not I'm in alot of trouble.
So I apolgize to anyone who deals with me in the next week or so, I assume this first part will be the hardest for adjusting. I'll probably be crabby and generally irritable, more than normal at least. Hopefully I'll be able to pull thru it and somehow retain some shread of life. If anyone is feeling bored after midnight and wants to spend some time talkin on the phone, I'm your man! By midnight I should be done with any duties I have, and will have the rest of the night to do what I want, including talkin on the phone. Also, any good movies/books that you have that you think I should know about, pass them my way, I'll have the time to do them now.
Ok, I know I still have like 2 hours before I have to head in, but I should go figure out what I should bring along tonight so I can entertain myself and keep myself from getting bored to death on my first night.
______ of the day: I want my Saturday night back!!
The working Ogukuo
So I apolgize to anyone who deals with me in the next week or so, I assume this first part will be the hardest for adjusting. I'll probably be crabby and generally irritable, more than normal at least. Hopefully I'll be able to pull thru it and somehow retain some shread of life. If anyone is feeling bored after midnight and wants to spend some time talkin on the phone, I'm your man! By midnight I should be done with any duties I have, and will have the rest of the night to do what I want, including talkin on the phone. Also, any good movies/books that you have that you think I should know about, pass them my way, I'll have the time to do them now.
Ok, I know I still have like 2 hours before I have to head in, but I should go figure out what I should bring along tonight so I can entertain myself and keep myself from getting bored to death on my first night.
______ of the day: I want my Saturday night back!!
The working Ogukuo
23 November 2006
Its Thursday!
Thanksgiving is over. Well, ok, technically theres still like 5 hours left in the day, but the celibratin is over for me. I'd say today ranked among the quieter thanksgivings I've experianced in my day. But, thats ok, I had a really good time. Although, I must say dinner with three college profs can tend to be rather intemidating. But, a good time. I must say I do miss family Thanksgivings, mostly cause my family is so different than any other family I've had Thanksgiving dinner with. Actually, my family is quite different in almost every way I can think of. Family dinners are rarely a quite affair, there is usually much laughter, yelling (not in anger), card games, general discussion, and walks to the ol' highschool to see how much has changed. We also have dessert sessions that rival most any bake sales. I'm talking about a kitchen table literally covered with pies, brownies, cake, ice cream, and anything else you care to imagine. And this isn't a plate totting affair, each person is alotted a dinner tray to hold all the goodies. Needless to say, we usually have dessert several hours after dinner.
So please pardon my little trip down memory lane turned family history lesson. I'm not complaning about other dinners I've been to over the years, just noting the differences from what I grew up with. And kinda miss. I'm excited to be goin home in a month for Christmas, especially for Christmas dinner at my grandpas with my extended family.
So, in other news, everyone come back!!
_____ of the day: tryptophene...mmmmmm
The turkey'd Ogukuo
So please pardon my little trip down memory lane turned family history lesson. I'm not complaning about other dinners I've been to over the years, just noting the differences from what I grew up with. And kinda miss. I'm excited to be goin home in a month for Christmas, especially for Christmas dinner at my grandpas with my extended family.
So, in other news, everyone come back!!
_____ of the day: tryptophene...mmmmmm
The turkey'd Ogukuo
21 November 2006
If I had a dog...
So I've been trying my hand lately at lyric writing, and I think yesterday lent itself to some pretty good life experiance as far as a song goes. Unfortunantely, it'd have to be a country song. So come with me on a journey thru my day (fasten your safety belts and place your pillows in a comfortable position, this is gonna be long and boring).
So yesterday was Monday, as most of you may know. Not the happiest of thoughts to begin with. I was planning on goin into work, but I spent a good part of the night coughing and not sleeping. So I called into work saying I wouldn't be in, and basically got laid off. So, quick recap, its Monday, I'm sick, and I just lost my job. Then, midmorning, my Mom calls me and tells me my great aunt died Sunday night. She was such a sweet old lady, one of the nicest ladies I know. Fastforward to the afternoon, I'm gonna run to town for grocieries and other random things. Except I can't because my car decides it no longer is on talking terms with my alternator, which has basically ceased to exist. So, its Monday, I'm sick, I've lost my job, a family member dies, and my car just took a poo on me. Yay!! If I had a dog and a girlfriend, my dog would have dumped me and my girlfriend would have run away. Wait, strike that, reverse it.
Ok, that was the play by play, now for the color. I am (I think) getting over the cold, at least I feel alot better today that I did yesterday morning. Of course, I have enough drugs pumping thru my system right now to make even Robert Downey Jr. look like a lightweight. And the loosing the job thing isn't really that big of a deal, I knew it was coming, and I start a new one next week. Plus, it is kinda nice to have the whole week off. Aunt Helen dying, well its a bummer, but she was like 94 and failing for a while. I certainly can't say I wish her back here, because I'm sure she wouldn't want to be, look what she has to compare it to now! And my car, yeah, that one pretty much is a bummer. I just brought it into the shop and will prolly hear back on it this afternoon. Either way, its gonna cost me money and I really need the car by the end of the week cause otherwise I really can't get to work. And in all fairness, I don't have a dog or girlfriend, so I dunno what would have happened with either of them yesterday. I'm just saying, with the way the day was goin....
But, the day is certainly not without its upsides. I got the new Snow Patrol CD in the mail, that made me happy. Haven't listened to it enough yet to be able to tell you if I like it or not. And I got my new SWR amp head too. That makes me uber happy, its so shinny and potentially loud, hurray! Of course, I don't have the cab for it yet, so I have to wait til tomorrow (assuming UPS's online tracking thingy is right) to have that, and then I have to wait til Friday or Saturday to run to Sioux Falls to get the jacks so I can actually have power goin from one to the other. But, by the end of the week my power output will be more than doubled, and my messing-around-with-sound ability will have also greatly increased. Hurray for 5 band EQs annd aural enhancers! Ok, so thats not that much messing around ability, but more than I have now. And theres an open slot for a rackmountable toy with the new head, so perhaps at some point I'll fill that with a seperate EQ allowing me to tweet my sound to my little hearts content.
And now I'm gonna try to motivate myself to actually get something useful done today, even tho I am still sick and probably shouldn't push myself too hard.
______ of the day: wait a minute, I was supposed to put something here!
The still-sick-but-getting-better Ogukuo
So yesterday was Monday, as most of you may know. Not the happiest of thoughts to begin with. I was planning on goin into work, but I spent a good part of the night coughing and not sleeping. So I called into work saying I wouldn't be in, and basically got laid off. So, quick recap, its Monday, I'm sick, and I just lost my job. Then, midmorning, my Mom calls me and tells me my great aunt died Sunday night. She was such a sweet old lady, one of the nicest ladies I know. Fastforward to the afternoon, I'm gonna run to town for grocieries and other random things. Except I can't because my car decides it no longer is on talking terms with my alternator, which has basically ceased to exist. So, its Monday, I'm sick, I've lost my job, a family member dies, and my car just took a poo on me. Yay!! If I had a dog and a girlfriend, my dog would have dumped me and my girlfriend would have run away. Wait, strike that, reverse it.
Ok, that was the play by play, now for the color. I am (I think) getting over the cold, at least I feel alot better today that I did yesterday morning. Of course, I have enough drugs pumping thru my system right now to make even Robert Downey Jr. look like a lightweight. And the loosing the job thing isn't really that big of a deal, I knew it was coming, and I start a new one next week. Plus, it is kinda nice to have the whole week off. Aunt Helen dying, well its a bummer, but she was like 94 and failing for a while. I certainly can't say I wish her back here, because I'm sure she wouldn't want to be, look what she has to compare it to now! And my car, yeah, that one pretty much is a bummer. I just brought it into the shop and will prolly hear back on it this afternoon. Either way, its gonna cost me money and I really need the car by the end of the week cause otherwise I really can't get to work. And in all fairness, I don't have a dog or girlfriend, so I dunno what would have happened with either of them yesterday. I'm just saying, with the way the day was goin....
But, the day is certainly not without its upsides. I got the new Snow Patrol CD in the mail, that made me happy. Haven't listened to it enough yet to be able to tell you if I like it or not. And I got my new SWR amp head too. That makes me uber happy, its so shinny and potentially loud, hurray! Of course, I don't have the cab for it yet, so I have to wait til tomorrow (assuming UPS's online tracking thingy is right) to have that, and then I have to wait til Friday or Saturday to run to Sioux Falls to get the jacks so I can actually have power goin from one to the other. But, by the end of the week my power output will be more than doubled, and my messing-around-with-sound ability will have also greatly increased. Hurray for 5 band EQs annd aural enhancers! Ok, so thats not that much messing around ability, but more than I have now. And theres an open slot for a rackmountable toy with the new head, so perhaps at some point I'll fill that with a seperate EQ allowing me to tweet my sound to my little hearts content.
And now I'm gonna try to motivate myself to actually get something useful done today, even tho I am still sick and probably shouldn't push myself too hard.
______ of the day: wait a minute, I was supposed to put something here!
The still-sick-but-getting-better Ogukuo
20 November 2006
Well, its "official", I am unemployed. At least for this week, anyway. I was planning on working at Greenworld thru Wednesday, but that ain't happening. When I went to bed last night I fully planned on going into work this morning, but my cold-stricken body decided around 1:30 this morning to revolt and send me into a coughing fit as well as a very sore throat, stuffed up nose and general unfunness. And that kinda made the night long and hard to get thru, cause it happened a few more times thruout the night, and when I woke up this morning I really didn't feel like hacking and coughing while freezing all day outside. So I called my boss and said I'd like to have at least the morning off to recover and sleep a bit. And he said the guy I've been working with took all of this week off, and since I'd only have a few more days anyway I may as well just be done. And I said ok and went back to sleep. I still feel kinda icky, actually quite icky, and I was hoping that I had this thing beat, bummer. But now I have 3 days with nothing to do except recover and adjust to turning nocturnal next week. Actually, next weekend it sounds like I'll be working a few nights for some training. So I'll probably start staying up later at night and sleeping in more and more. Its ideal, really. I'm kinda a nightowl, and at least for the next few days I can pretend to be a college student again, a sick one, but a college student nonetheless.
Ok, in an effort to shorten my verbouse (??) entries, I'll just stop here instead of goin on and on about nothing.
_______ of the day: I'm sick, wheres my mommy?? :(
The ill Ogukuo
Ok, in an effort to shorten my verbouse (??) entries, I'll just stop here instead of goin on and on about nothing.
_______ of the day: I'm sick, wheres my mommy?? :(
The ill Ogukuo
18 November 2006
I'm lazy, so I'm just stealing one of Kara's old topics
So, Kara had a dream about a close friend dying, and I just had a dream last night that I was in the NY Yankees stadium. Yeah, I dream about the stupidest things. For some reason I was flown there for free with a group of people, and took part in some celebration or cerimony or something. Everyone else was out on the field for the whole game, but for some reason I came in around the 6th or 7th inning. And just as I was to make my grand entrance, the game was called on account of frost being on the grass (like, as soon as my foot hit the field, I heard the ump say game over). Yup, even my job infiltrated my dream. In the mornings we need to avoid walking on the grass cause it'll kill it if theres still frost on it, and that translated into the game being cancelled because of it. I dunno why they could play as much of the game as they did, or why the grass in an enclosed semi-heated place had frost on it to begin with. But it did, so the game was called, and the team we were supposed to be pulling for lost ( I dunno if it was the Yankees or whoever they were playing, but they lost). So everyone left, except for that group of us where had whatever special privilage. We gotta stay on the field (walking on the frosty grass!!) and hang out, have a BBQ, roam the stadium, whatever. It was at that point that I realized I didn't know anyone else in the group, except President Bush. yup, he was there for some reason. Just one of the guys hanging out, helping with the BBQ, no big deal. From there, details get fuzzy, I remember hanging out by a table of food, and Bush goin back and forth from a store room bringing out hotdogs and whatever. Really wierd. And then I was back here in this house (kinda, like same floor plan of this house, but kinda different layout and sizes of rooms, it was wierd) and I was cutting up a hunk of meat for supper. I was doin this in the living room and laying the meat out on the carpet, I realized about halfway thru doin this how disgusting that was. So I washed it off, and my parents were in the kitchen and I tried to put the blinds down cause it was bright outside, and they broke and fell off, and then I tried to fix them, and then I think I woke up.
I have stupid dreams that mean nothing, except perhaps its gonna be a sunny day and I have a craving for meat for some reason.
_______ of the day: A bowl of cold cerial will have to do for now :(.
The hungry Ogukuo
p.s. I'm working on making the posts shorter
I have stupid dreams that mean nothing, except perhaps its gonna be a sunny day and I have a craving for meat for some reason.
_______ of the day: A bowl of cold cerial will have to do for now :(.
The hungry Ogukuo
p.s. I'm working on making the posts shorter
16 November 2006
More reasons why
So I think I've figured out another reason why Tuesday was so poopy. I mean, its a variety of things, but I figured out one reason that I hadn't thought about before that is outside of myself, thank goodness. They guy I've been working with the past few weeks was kinda complaining about another guy at work, one of the bosses who isn't really good at being a boss, or that much of a worker, really. Can't say I really disagree with him, they guy is kinda a flake. But the guy I've been workin with keeps goin on about how he isn't fair, and demands too much out of others when he himself doesn't really do that much work. After a while it got kinda old, I mean, yeah, the guys not the best boss, but enough is enough. And I know I kinda kept the conversation goin too, cause the only other thing this guy really talks about is sports, which is about as interesting to me as a steamy pile of, um, compost. Ok, so I'm interested on sports on the surface of them, as in I kinda like watchin a game once in a while, especially if its playoffs or whatever, but all the guys are work talk about drafts and stats and whos worth what and what team stands a chance this year for whatever reason. *yawn*. No thanks. So, instead of listening to this guy talk about that, and me not knowing a tidbit of what hes talking about and pretending to be interested I'd keep the conversation on something that I at least know something about. I stopped that today, I kept shifting the conversations to music, something I'm interested in. And I had a happier day :).
Plus, its almost the weekend, and thats always happy. I also moved the keyboard from the otherside of hte basement over by my computer, so now I can look up sheet music online (which is very hard to find, btw, anyone know a good site that has a wide selection?) and play. Its fun, I've learned the intro to an Evanescance song, a Goo Goo Dolls song, and Music Box Dancer.
Ok, I'm being distracted by the fact that I dont want to write anymore. Are my posts way too long? I have a feeling I bore people so they just dont read what I write...
______ of the day: I hate barberry bushes
The cube-shaped Ogukuo
Plus, its almost the weekend, and thats always happy. I also moved the keyboard from the otherside of hte basement over by my computer, so now I can look up sheet music online (which is very hard to find, btw, anyone know a good site that has a wide selection?) and play. Its fun, I've learned the intro to an Evanescance song, a Goo Goo Dolls song, and Music Box Dancer.
Ok, I'm being distracted by the fact that I dont want to write anymore. Are my posts way too long? I have a feeling I bore people so they just dont read what I write...
______ of the day: I hate barberry bushes
The cube-shaped Ogukuo
14 November 2006
Reasons why
So I'm mulling over what I wrote last night. And the reasons why.
I don't wanna slip slowly into a life that will make me look back in 20 years and say "woah! what happened? I used to have so much fun, now my life is boring and I don't know when it happened" And I'm on the leading edge of that happening. Not because I want to, but because its gonna happen no matter what.
Of course, thats life, and its goin by faster and faster it seems, and life isn't fair, and blah blah blah, I've heard it all before. All those stupid cliche phrases are true, and none the less stupid. They are so applicable to life that they are meaningless. I don't want to hear that life isn't fair, or that "you need to start being responsible" and other random cliche "its time to grow up" phrases that sound like things your mother would say. I just want to live life. I know that bills need to be payed, and retirement needs to be saved up for, and all that crap, I just want to have a life once its all said and done. Whats the point of life if you spend all of it worrying about how much it costs, and if theres any way to save a buck or two. Forget that, I'll live my life, have fun, spend what I need to, save for what I want to, and worry more about what my money can do for me than what I have to do to get it.
Is it possible to have a midlife crisis at 23? If it is, I think I'm having it. 6 months into the workforce and I'm already ready to call it quits. For those of you still in college (which, by my calculation would be anyone who actually reads this) enjoy it! Yeah, papers and tests suck, but at least you are being mentally stimulated. I've gotta find a job sooner or later that actually offers that. I've gotten dumber the past 6 months because of mindless work. Now anyone who has talked to me at length knows my stance on Gen300, and how its a crap class. But, I know that what it says about calling being more than your job is true (doesn't change the fact that the class sucks). I currently live my life after 5, my life happens outside of work.
Once again, I'm goin no where with this, sorry. At least Tuesday is over, I always hate Tuesdays for some reason, even more so than Mondays, if you can believe that.
Anyone have a good leather couch I could lay down on for a while and talk about my problems? I can't afford a shrink, the best I could do is borrowing someones couch.
_______ of the day: job politics suck
The Tuesday'd Ogukuo
I don't wanna slip slowly into a life that will make me look back in 20 years and say "woah! what happened? I used to have so much fun, now my life is boring and I don't know when it happened" And I'm on the leading edge of that happening. Not because I want to, but because its gonna happen no matter what.
Of course, thats life, and its goin by faster and faster it seems, and life isn't fair, and blah blah blah, I've heard it all before. All those stupid cliche phrases are true, and none the less stupid. They are so applicable to life that they are meaningless. I don't want to hear that life isn't fair, or that "you need to start being responsible" and other random cliche "its time to grow up" phrases that sound like things your mother would say. I just want to live life. I know that bills need to be payed, and retirement needs to be saved up for, and all that crap, I just want to have a life once its all said and done. Whats the point of life if you spend all of it worrying about how much it costs, and if theres any way to save a buck or two. Forget that, I'll live my life, have fun, spend what I need to, save for what I want to, and worry more about what my money can do for me than what I have to do to get it.
Is it possible to have a midlife crisis at 23? If it is, I think I'm having it. 6 months into the workforce and I'm already ready to call it quits. For those of you still in college (which, by my calculation would be anyone who actually reads this) enjoy it! Yeah, papers and tests suck, but at least you are being mentally stimulated. I've gotta find a job sooner or later that actually offers that. I've gotten dumber the past 6 months because of mindless work. Now anyone who has talked to me at length knows my stance on Gen300, and how its a crap class. But, I know that what it says about calling being more than your job is true (doesn't change the fact that the class sucks). I currently live my life after 5, my life happens outside of work.
Once again, I'm goin no where with this, sorry. At least Tuesday is over, I always hate Tuesdays for some reason, even more so than Mondays, if you can believe that.
Anyone have a good leather couch I could lay down on for a while and talk about my problems? I can't afford a shrink, the best I could do is borrowing someones couch.
_______ of the day: job politics suck
The Tuesday'd Ogukuo
13 November 2006
Since I'm on the topic
Sooooo, heres another blog thats all masked and cryptic, but basically comes down to girls and the future, like every other blog.
Once again, like I did about 6 months ago, I'm starting a new job with high hopes and asperations, blah blah blah. Its the greatest thing since sliced bread, its what I want to do, I'm gonna love it. Except not. I mean, basically, I'll have about 2 hours of cleaning, and then 6 hours of break time with intermentant bed checks to make sure everything is cool. Sparing the fine details, thats my job description. So, like the lowlight of my previous (er, still current at this point) job, I will basically be working by myself. Now, granted, I'll be able to read, watch tv, surf the web, make shadow puppets, whatever while working, I still am basically lacking human interaction. Except, of course, unless one of the residents gets up in the middle of the night. But then the only connection I have is being a meany and telling them to go back to bed.
And do I wanna do this job long term? No. I'm still in that boat, too. And its sinking. I honestly have no idea where I will/want to be in 10 years. Shoot, 2 years for that matter. By that time all my Dordt friends will have graduated, and I will probably be even more sick of Sioux Center than I am now. So, then what? I stay? I move back to Ripon? I move somewhere with no base? I'm frustrated because I don't know which direction. And there are so many way to finish that sentance.... which direction God wants me to go, which direction I want to go, which direction I "should" go, which direction would be financially best for me, etc etc. And why do I have to figure it out now? Well, I should start figuring it, I'm graduated from college, I have the piece of paper telling people that I jumped thru the hoops to be able to tack B.A. to my name. This, of course, means I should be able to find a real job, not just hop from one hourly job to another. Of course, its also appealing to live in an unfinished basement with no real commitment or responsibility. But that also means no real base either. No one I know will be there who I can come home from work to every day, and who would move with me wherever I/we happen to move to.
I think what I need is a little less of people giving me wonderful/useless/annoying suggestions for what I should do in the career/girl/living situation category and a little more interaction with God and the following of his lead. Cause right now, I'm not sure where Hes leading me, but I think that means that He has something for me, its just a matter of His timing of showing me what it is.
I know I don't really want to be to this point in my life, but I get the feeling I'm gonna be ready to kinda settle down into something resembling real life here in the next few years, the only thing thats missing is maturity on my part, a career, home, and a girl. It kinda seems like those 4 things go together like folding the 4 flaps of an open box together to make a closed top. All 4 are needed to make it work, and they all kinda need to happen at the same time for it to actually work. I know, you don't think that I need any of the other 3 to make any particular 1 work, and good for you. You get a sarcastic pat on the head cause I dont care. Yup, I'm to that point, I don't even care what anyone has to say about it anymore. Go ahead and tell me "hey, shes out there somewhere" or "congrats on the new job! maybe this is where God is leading you" or "saving up for a house?" I'm living weekend to weekend right now, and sooner or later its gonna run thin and break. I don't even know anymore where I was trying to go with this, except that I dont know where I am goin, or who I'm goin there with, or when any of it is happening, or if it is happening, or how I'm even gonna know when it happens. When I was younger I always pictured myself looking back on my younger life and saying "yup, I was confused about everything then, but now I at least have a few things figured out". I was hoping to have at leave one thing (pick it, anything) figured out by now, and I dont. I'm still just as confused as I was when I was 17.
Ok, its way too late, I've gotta go to bed, otherwise I'd keep writing non-sensical nothings. I'm sorry if you read this whole thing, cause its disjointed and probably boring, and still doesn't really even say anything about what I'm feeling. So if you were looking for insight, sorry, you didn't find it here.
_______ of the day: _______
The still Ogukuo
Once again, like I did about 6 months ago, I'm starting a new job with high hopes and asperations, blah blah blah. Its the greatest thing since sliced bread, its what I want to do, I'm gonna love it. Except not. I mean, basically, I'll have about 2 hours of cleaning, and then 6 hours of break time with intermentant bed checks to make sure everything is cool. Sparing the fine details, thats my job description. So, like the lowlight of my previous (er, still current at this point) job, I will basically be working by myself. Now, granted, I'll be able to read, watch tv, surf the web, make shadow puppets, whatever while working, I still am basically lacking human interaction. Except, of course, unless one of the residents gets up in the middle of the night. But then the only connection I have is being a meany and telling them to go back to bed.
And do I wanna do this job long term? No. I'm still in that boat, too. And its sinking. I honestly have no idea where I will/want to be in 10 years. Shoot, 2 years for that matter. By that time all my Dordt friends will have graduated, and I will probably be even more sick of Sioux Center than I am now. So, then what? I stay? I move back to Ripon? I move somewhere with no base? I'm frustrated because I don't know which direction. And there are so many way to finish that sentance.... which direction God wants me to go, which direction I want to go, which direction I "should" go, which direction would be financially best for me, etc etc. And why do I have to figure it out now? Well, I should start figuring it, I'm graduated from college, I have the piece of paper telling people that I jumped thru the hoops to be able to tack B.A. to my name. This, of course, means I should be able to find a real job, not just hop from one hourly job to another. Of course, its also appealing to live in an unfinished basement with no real commitment or responsibility. But that also means no real base either. No one I know will be there who I can come home from work to every day, and who would move with me wherever I/we happen to move to.
I think what I need is a little less of people giving me wonderful/useless/annoying suggestions for what I should do in the career/girl/living situation category and a little more interaction with God and the following of his lead. Cause right now, I'm not sure where Hes leading me, but I think that means that He has something for me, its just a matter of His timing of showing me what it is.
I know I don't really want to be to this point in my life, but I get the feeling I'm gonna be ready to kinda settle down into something resembling real life here in the next few years, the only thing thats missing is maturity on my part, a career, home, and a girl. It kinda seems like those 4 things go together like folding the 4 flaps of an open box together to make a closed top. All 4 are needed to make it work, and they all kinda need to happen at the same time for it to actually work. I know, you don't think that I need any of the other 3 to make any particular 1 work, and good for you. You get a sarcastic pat on the head cause I dont care. Yup, I'm to that point, I don't even care what anyone has to say about it anymore. Go ahead and tell me "hey, shes out there somewhere" or "congrats on the new job! maybe this is where God is leading you" or "saving up for a house?" I'm living weekend to weekend right now, and sooner or later its gonna run thin and break. I don't even know anymore where I was trying to go with this, except that I dont know where I am goin, or who I'm goin there with, or when any of it is happening, or if it is happening, or how I'm even gonna know when it happens. When I was younger I always pictured myself looking back on my younger life and saying "yup, I was confused about everything then, but now I at least have a few things figured out". I was hoping to have at leave one thing (pick it, anything) figured out by now, and I dont. I'm still just as confused as I was when I was 17.
Ok, its way too late, I've gotta go to bed, otherwise I'd keep writing non-sensical nothings. I'm sorry if you read this whole thing, cause its disjointed and probably boring, and still doesn't really even say anything about what I'm feeling. So if you were looking for insight, sorry, you didn't find it here.
_______ of the day: _______
The still Ogukuo
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)