Yesterday brought about some pretty major changes around these parts. Dane and Amanda are officially gone, one to quite possibly never been seen again, and the other not to be seen for a long time. At least from my perspective. I kinda doubt I'll see Amanda again (rarely, if ever), and Dane won't be back to these parts til next summer at the earliest it sounds like. And, I'm sad about the whole thing, to be honest. I mean, I'm happy for them, cause they are both onto awesomeness across the ocean, but I'm sad for the people still here. I know I'm gonna miss them. It's been a fun summer, and won't be quite the same without them. I know I'm not exactly part of the group, but they still made my life fun while I was here.
So, enough sappyness already. Had rehersal again last night with 3/4 of OJK. Got some good news too, Tom of the Benidict Affair is gonna be helping us out with promotion, etc. I guess he really likes us, so more or less started a independent label so he could promote OJK. Which is awesome. Looks like we're aiming to get started with a few shows right away when everyone is back, so look forward to more announcments about that.
And I got this afternoon off cause it started raining like mad. It was awesomeness.
________ of the day: um, over used, but I'll go with w00t!!1
The weekend Ogukuo
17 August 2006
14 August 2006
Public personal reflection?
Ok, so this is more of my just writing to get stuff out than a public thing, so if you don't wanna read it, thats encouraged. But now you all do, cause you think it'll be juicy. Well, its not, just me being me.
So recently (as in the last 2 years) I've been wondering where my life is heading. Ok, so I've been wondering my whole life, but most recently has been a bit more serious wondering. Of course, being young, single, and a recent college grad, I would say my options are somewhat open. I could stay here in town, move back to Ripon, or any other place where I think I'd be able to make steady work. Of course, without proper incentive, why move?
Enough buildup, to the meat. I've been thinking alot lately about a town called Antigua, Guatemala. I spent 2 weeks during 2 seperate summers there doing misson work. I know they employ a summer staff there to lead teams, and various other stuff. And alot of things around here have reminded me of that fact, and I dunno what that means. Most recently it was a group talking in church last night about their misson trip down to the Gulf Coast. Perhaps I should move down there (Antigua, not the Gulf Coast) and do work for the mission? I mean, I'd love to, except for a few problems. I dont speak spanish that well, I'm not a misson major, or anything close to it, I have no special skills lending themselves to misson work, and a little thing called college debt. And I know, Moses had a list of reasons for God why he shouldn't lead his people, and they don't really matter. But my question is, would I really be any help? And what on earth do I do about a mounting debt when I'm making practically no money? I know, money doesn't matter, but sooner or later Iowa Student Loan is gonna want theres back!!
So, theres much more in my head about it, I'm thinking of calling the guy who lead our group just to see what he says. I dunno, who knows if God is calling me to that or not. I would love it if He was, but I'd be very curious to see how it works out to be that way.
Anywho, time for bed, work comes early tomorrow.
_______ of the day: If my life were over today, what would you say? what would you say?
The 'me being me' Ogukuo
So recently (as in the last 2 years) I've been wondering where my life is heading. Ok, so I've been wondering my whole life, but most recently has been a bit more serious wondering. Of course, being young, single, and a recent college grad, I would say my options are somewhat open. I could stay here in town, move back to Ripon, or any other place where I think I'd be able to make steady work. Of course, without proper incentive, why move?
Enough buildup, to the meat. I've been thinking alot lately about a town called Antigua, Guatemala. I spent 2 weeks during 2 seperate summers there doing misson work. I know they employ a summer staff there to lead teams, and various other stuff. And alot of things around here have reminded me of that fact, and I dunno what that means. Most recently it was a group talking in church last night about their misson trip down to the Gulf Coast. Perhaps I should move down there (Antigua, not the Gulf Coast) and do work for the mission? I mean, I'd love to, except for a few problems. I dont speak spanish that well, I'm not a misson major, or anything close to it, I have no special skills lending themselves to misson work, and a little thing called college debt. And I know, Moses had a list of reasons for God why he shouldn't lead his people, and they don't really matter. But my question is, would I really be any help? And what on earth do I do about a mounting debt when I'm making practically no money? I know, money doesn't matter, but sooner or later Iowa Student Loan is gonna want theres back!!
So, theres much more in my head about it, I'm thinking of calling the guy who lead our group just to see what he says. I dunno, who knows if God is calling me to that or not. I would love it if He was, but I'd be very curious to see how it works out to be that way.
Anywho, time for bed, work comes early tomorrow.
_______ of the day: If my life were over today, what would you say? what would you say?
The 'me being me' Ogukuo
10 August 2006
Rainy Days and Thursdays are fine by me
I gotta few comments on my last post encouraging me to post again, so I am. Actually, I'm making myself late for work to post! Ok, not really. I have the day off cause it rained last night so everything at work is quite muddy! Yay! Ok, yay for now, but suck next week when the paycheck comes back somewhat short of hours.
So when I sat down at my computer, I typed in "rainy day" into iTunes in honor of today, and 3 songs came up, Gordon Lightfoot's 'Rainy Day People', The Carpenters 'Rainy Days and Mondays' and Bob Dylan's 'Rainy Day Women #12 and 35. So that was fun, today didn't get me down, cause now I have time to get stuff done and even go to the darkroom!
Ok, so heres a quick catch-up on my life. Um, if amount of campfires attended is a measure of one's quality of life (which it should be) my life is awesome. I've been at 2 in like 5 days!! Very high awesome factor. Oh, and I've realized that Mondays hold a simular design to roller coasters. They go up and down, and make you wanna throw up. Monday morning I met with my landlord to go over some stuff, and found out that he only wants three of us living here from now on. So, not cool, cause that means one of the guys who planned on living here can't, and we each gotta pay like $50 more a month for rent (we're workin on presenting an appeal to that decision). But, he is sending an appraiser over today to look at the house to see what its worth if I wanna buy it, so thats good (and nerve racking). And and soon as I got back to work from that meeting I ran into my boss (thats for you, Dane, hahahaha) and told him I'd like to talk about my future at Greenworld. Ok, so not that dramatic, but I did ask him what I should be expecting from the job in the next year or so, cause he hasn't told me anything about that. I was hoping to move to design late this year, stay on parttime over the winter and be a fulltime designer next season. Well, I guess Larry wasn't thinking along those same lines. Cause he said that I'd be doin the same thing I am now (workin on the yard) for the rest of the season, and probably next summer with the possibility of some small design work on the side if they needed it. Needless to say, I was a bit more than unhappy about said news, cause it means I still really have no direction that I'm heading in the short term, not to mention no steady reliable fun job. So I spent most of the day in a bit of a funk cause of the rent thing, and the job thing, and just the fact that it was Monday. But, then I got home, and found out my roomies were goin golfing, so I tagged along and had a ton of fun. And then people came over later that night, and it turned into a mini-party and Taz came and brought some very very good Scotch for sampling. Scotch is my new favorite drink, its increadible! Of course, its also very expensive for a bottle, so it'll be a while til I actually invest in my own. But, yeah, smoky taste, very full-bodied (if that makes sense), strong, but yet smooth. A sipping drink by all means, not something to shoot straight down. Hurray for discovering awesomeness!
So thats an extremely small sampling of what I've been goin thru the last few days. I should get goin to run some errands I desperately need to get done. Thank goodness I have the day off!! I really need the time for stuff!
________ of the day: "Sometimes I'd like to quit, nothin seems to fit" -Rainy Days and Mondays
The rained-out Ogukuo
So when I sat down at my computer, I typed in "rainy day" into iTunes in honor of today, and 3 songs came up, Gordon Lightfoot's 'Rainy Day People', The Carpenters 'Rainy Days and Mondays' and Bob Dylan's 'Rainy Day Women #12 and 35. So that was fun, today didn't get me down, cause now I have time to get stuff done and even go to the darkroom!
Ok, so heres a quick catch-up on my life. Um, if amount of campfires attended is a measure of one's quality of life (which it should be) my life is awesome. I've been at 2 in like 5 days!! Very high awesome factor. Oh, and I've realized that Mondays hold a simular design to roller coasters. They go up and down, and make you wanna throw up. Monday morning I met with my landlord to go over some stuff, and found out that he only wants three of us living here from now on. So, not cool, cause that means one of the guys who planned on living here can't, and we each gotta pay like $50 more a month for rent (we're workin on presenting an appeal to that decision). But, he is sending an appraiser over today to look at the house to see what its worth if I wanna buy it, so thats good (and nerve racking). And and soon as I got back to work from that meeting I ran into my boss (thats for you, Dane, hahahaha) and told him I'd like to talk about my future at Greenworld. Ok, so not that dramatic, but I did ask him what I should be expecting from the job in the next year or so, cause he hasn't told me anything about that. I was hoping to move to design late this year, stay on parttime over the winter and be a fulltime designer next season. Well, I guess Larry wasn't thinking along those same lines. Cause he said that I'd be doin the same thing I am now (workin on the yard) for the rest of the season, and probably next summer with the possibility of some small design work on the side if they needed it. Needless to say, I was a bit more than unhappy about said news, cause it means I still really have no direction that I'm heading in the short term, not to mention no steady reliable fun job. So I spent most of the day in a bit of a funk cause of the rent thing, and the job thing, and just the fact that it was Monday. But, then I got home, and found out my roomies were goin golfing, so I tagged along and had a ton of fun. And then people came over later that night, and it turned into a mini-party and Taz came and brought some very very good Scotch for sampling. Scotch is my new favorite drink, its increadible! Of course, its also very expensive for a bottle, so it'll be a while til I actually invest in my own. But, yeah, smoky taste, very full-bodied (if that makes sense), strong, but yet smooth. A sipping drink by all means, not something to shoot straight down. Hurray for discovering awesomeness!
So thats an extremely small sampling of what I've been goin thru the last few days. I should get goin to run some errands I desperately need to get done. Thank goodness I have the day off!! I really need the time for stuff!
________ of the day: "Sometimes I'd like to quit, nothin seems to fit" -Rainy Days and Mondays
The rained-out Ogukuo
31 July 2006
I hate assumptions!
I hate making assumptions about my life that seem plausable at the time, but in reality have very little chance of panning out. I realized that I do that way too much. Even as a kid, I figured by the time I was the age I am now I'd have my own house, be married, and traveling the world. In reality, I live in the unfinished basement of a small house, "traveling" means goin to Sioux Falls for an evening, and yeah, the married thing, not so much. Ok, so I'm not complaining about my life currently, cause I like it, its just not how I envisioned it being at this point when I was younger. And now I have different assumptions in my head for the future, and who really knows if any of them will actually happen or not. These range from assumptions about relationships with girls to what I'll be doin at my job to whether or not OJK will take off (yeah, some are a bit more far fetched than others). But I make these assumptions, then start to plan my life (long term or short term) around them. And, a majority of the time (esp with the assumptions about girls) they don't pan out, and I'm left revamping my plans. I mean, not like I make any major changes in my life over any assumptions, just what goes thru my head as far as what I plan on doin.
But, what can I do? I mean, its not like I just can't plan anything, and besides I spend most of my day doing mindless work, so my brain has to do something to occupy itself. Thus, it turns to various assumptions and runs with them. And somehow it turns from bland daydreaming just to keep my brain moving to elaborate plans usually focused on one small detail that just happens to be an assumption I've made about one aspect or another about my life. As of late, thats been redesigning and re-redesigning my house in my head. And I mean details!! And major changes, the house won't look the same on the inside at all. But, of course, that whole thing is based on the assumption that I will be able to buy this house, and live here long enough to actually make those changes.
So I resolve to try to stop making so many assumptions about life, but I know it won't happen.
And now, I assume I'll finish this post and go upstairs for some food.
________ of the day: They'll stone ya when you're playing your guitar
The assuming Ogukuo
But, what can I do? I mean, its not like I just can't plan anything, and besides I spend most of my day doing mindless work, so my brain has to do something to occupy itself. Thus, it turns to various assumptions and runs with them. And somehow it turns from bland daydreaming just to keep my brain moving to elaborate plans usually focused on one small detail that just happens to be an assumption I've made about one aspect or another about my life. As of late, thats been redesigning and re-redesigning my house in my head. And I mean details!! And major changes, the house won't look the same on the inside at all. But, of course, that whole thing is based on the assumption that I will be able to buy this house, and live here long enough to actually make those changes.
So I resolve to try to stop making so many assumptions about life, but I know it won't happen.
And now, I assume I'll finish this post and go upstairs for some food.
________ of the day: They'll stone ya when you're playing your guitar
The assuming Ogukuo
29 July 2006
Yet ANOTHER Saturday morning
So it seems Saturday morning posts are my thing now. You know those stories that start "It was just a regular day, nothing out of the ordinary, and then.........." well.........
It was just a regular day, nothing out the ordinary, and then, I started blogging!! Ha, yeah, thats my way of saying nothing is happening. Oh, but stuff has happened in the past week.
Last Saturday I ended up out at Oak Grove camping with several people. It was a blast. I got dirty, sweaty, dehydrated, and slightly feverish, and I loved every moment of it. I love camping so much. I kid you not when I say that when I design my yard eventually (yeah, I plan on doin my own), I will most assuredly be putting in several Ponderosa pine trees, same as what grow in the Sierra Nevada mountains in California. And an outside eating area, porch or something (more likely brick pavers), and a fire pit. And, of course, enough ground area for tents, etc. Yes, my backyard will be like a campground, I love it that much.
Speaking of designing my own yard.......I brought in some design work to Greenworld this past week as well. Its sounding good for me to move to design! w00t! I think they really liked what I had, and I know that I have some good ideas to help the design side of their business. I can't wait to start on that. We have a meeting with a computer rep in the next week sometime to discuss buying computers to use for design. The only downside to all of this is that this will make it harder to leave Greenworld to start touring with OJK. And thats something I thought about when I initially approached the uppers about this move. I mean, I have no qualms quitting if all I'm doin is fieldwork, they can find someone else to do that on some street corner. But my position as a designer (esp probably being the one with the most computer knowledge and freshest ideas) is goin to be a lot harder to leave for any sort of extended tour. I'm seriously torn. I mean, on one hand, I have a good job with fairly good job security, where I can do the design work that I like, but on the other hand I have the oppertunity of a lifetime. I find it hard to quit my 9 to 5 to pursue that dream, but at the same time, how can I pass it up? Ack, its so uncertain at this point!! Hopefully I'll have a better idea where both of those are heading in 4-6 months. At that point I'll probably be out of work at Greenworld (off season, not fired), and we'll have cut our first full length album and looking for the label that wants to sign us. So I guess it kinda comes down to how quickly we get signed, and what kinda tour they put us on. I dunno, thats an area I'll be praying alot about. Cause, yeah, when it comes down to it, I know which one I want more, but its also the one thats alot more uncertain and difficult to pull off successfully.
Ok, thats all I can handle for now, I'd best get back to washing this weeks laundry, and putting away last weeks laundry :S.
______ of the day: Even tho I hate pickles, I always seem to find myself in them.
The pickled (no, not that way) Ogukuo
It was just a regular day, nothing out the ordinary, and then, I started blogging!! Ha, yeah, thats my way of saying nothing is happening. Oh, but stuff has happened in the past week.
Last Saturday I ended up out at Oak Grove camping with several people. It was a blast. I got dirty, sweaty, dehydrated, and slightly feverish, and I loved every moment of it. I love camping so much. I kid you not when I say that when I design my yard eventually (yeah, I plan on doin my own), I will most assuredly be putting in several Ponderosa pine trees, same as what grow in the Sierra Nevada mountains in California. And an outside eating area, porch or something (more likely brick pavers), and a fire pit. And, of course, enough ground area for tents, etc. Yes, my backyard will be like a campground, I love it that much.
Speaking of designing my own yard.......I brought in some design work to Greenworld this past week as well. Its sounding good for me to move to design! w00t! I think they really liked what I had, and I know that I have some good ideas to help the design side of their business. I can't wait to start on that. We have a meeting with a computer rep in the next week sometime to discuss buying computers to use for design. The only downside to all of this is that this will make it harder to leave Greenworld to start touring with OJK. And thats something I thought about when I initially approached the uppers about this move. I mean, I have no qualms quitting if all I'm doin is fieldwork, they can find someone else to do that on some street corner. But my position as a designer (esp probably being the one with the most computer knowledge and freshest ideas) is goin to be a lot harder to leave for any sort of extended tour. I'm seriously torn. I mean, on one hand, I have a good job with fairly good job security, where I can do the design work that I like, but on the other hand I have the oppertunity of a lifetime. I find it hard to quit my 9 to 5 to pursue that dream, but at the same time, how can I pass it up? Ack, its so uncertain at this point!! Hopefully I'll have a better idea where both of those are heading in 4-6 months. At that point I'll probably be out of work at Greenworld (off season, not fired), and we'll have cut our first full length album and looking for the label that wants to sign us. So I guess it kinda comes down to how quickly we get signed, and what kinda tour they put us on. I dunno, thats an area I'll be praying alot about. Cause, yeah, when it comes down to it, I know which one I want more, but its also the one thats alot more uncertain and difficult to pull off successfully.
Ok, thats all I can handle for now, I'd best get back to washing this weeks laundry, and putting away last weeks laundry :S.
______ of the day: Even tho I hate pickles, I always seem to find myself in them.
The pickled (no, not that way) Ogukuo
22 July 2006
Just another Saturday morning, and I ain't got nobody...
So, yet another Saturday morning where I should be doin laundry, cleaning up my room, etc etc etc. And I'm not. And I wont, not at least for another few hours. And by the time I do finally get started on all that, something will happen, and I'll leave all the stuff I should have done already to go out and have fun. That kinda seems to be the m.o. for my Saturdays. I mean, I like the funness and all, but yeah, I really should be gettin stuff done too. Perhaps once I'm done with this post, I'll get started........
Went to Blue Mountain last night with a few people, including Taz. It was a blast, very much enjoyed it. I really like that place, its the first time I've been there. A bit spendy, but, makes sense, it is a nice place.
So I think I'll be presenting a bit of design work to my boss at some point next week, thus basically coming to the point in my job where I either find out I'll be moved to design work (either right away, or eventually), or I find out they don't have the space/need/want for another designer. So, in other words, kind of a scary ordeal. I mean, the outcome could very well effect where I'll be working the rest of the year, this winter, and for the near extended future. If they like my work, and move me to design, I'll probably be staying on at Greenworld for a while. If they decide against that, I dunno what will happen. I mean, my job as it stands right now doesn't use my college experiance, skills, and gifts at all. I feel like I've wasted my time at school, and my talents are not being excersized like they should be. So I may have to look for another job that will use those skills if Greenworld decides they don't need them. I know, I've only been out of school for like 2 months, and it takes a while to find the right job, and thats fine with me. The problem I am worried about is possibly getting a semi-mediocre job somewhere (GW or another place) that carries some responsiblility but doesn't really keep with the general idea of design that I want to stick with. Cause then I'd have a tough time leaving the job, but yet probably wouldn't be happy, cause I wouldn't really be doin what I want to be doin. I'm afraid if I stay on at GW but don't move to design, I'll be carrying more responsibility around the yard next year, and eventually I'd have a job where they would need me around, but I wouldn't be getting a good return on my investment in school, meaning I still wouldn't be using my gifts/skills. So, yeah, thats gonna be weighing on my mind this weekend.
Ok, I smell breakfast wafting down the stairs, I should go see whats cookin.
______ of the day: Mares eat oats and does eat oats, but little lambs eat ivy.
The Saturday-morning-unshaven Ogukuo
Went to Blue Mountain last night with a few people, including Taz. It was a blast, very much enjoyed it. I really like that place, its the first time I've been there. A bit spendy, but, makes sense, it is a nice place.
So I think I'll be presenting a bit of design work to my boss at some point next week, thus basically coming to the point in my job where I either find out I'll be moved to design work (either right away, or eventually), or I find out they don't have the space/need/want for another designer. So, in other words, kind of a scary ordeal. I mean, the outcome could very well effect where I'll be working the rest of the year, this winter, and for the near extended future. If they like my work, and move me to design, I'll probably be staying on at Greenworld for a while. If they decide against that, I dunno what will happen. I mean, my job as it stands right now doesn't use my college experiance, skills, and gifts at all. I feel like I've wasted my time at school, and my talents are not being excersized like they should be. So I may have to look for another job that will use those skills if Greenworld decides they don't need them. I know, I've only been out of school for like 2 months, and it takes a while to find the right job, and thats fine with me. The problem I am worried about is possibly getting a semi-mediocre job somewhere (GW or another place) that carries some responsiblility but doesn't really keep with the general idea of design that I want to stick with. Cause then I'd have a tough time leaving the job, but yet probably wouldn't be happy, cause I wouldn't really be doin what I want to be doin. I'm afraid if I stay on at GW but don't move to design, I'll be carrying more responsibility around the yard next year, and eventually I'd have a job where they would need me around, but I wouldn't be getting a good return on my investment in school, meaning I still wouldn't be using my gifts/skills. So, yeah, thats gonna be weighing on my mind this weekend.
Ok, I smell breakfast wafting down the stairs, I should go see whats cookin.
______ of the day: Mares eat oats and does eat oats, but little lambs eat ivy.
The Saturday-morning-unshaven Ogukuo
18 July 2006
I'm really in a sticky wicket
I like that saying, think its prolly related to cricket (the game, not the horse). But I really am sticky, lots of tree sap on my arms from work. Even a brutal assalt of shampoo (I couldn't find real poo, hahahahaha), body wash, and a bar of soap didn't get it all off. But, oh well, I guess its goes nicely with all the little red dots on my arms. Working with spruce trees is torture. Especially when its hot outside, and you have no one to talk to, and no radio. Oh, and did I mention 9 straight hours of it? Ick. Theres a lesson in this: go to college!!! Oh wait, that doesn't work. I mean, go to college, and actually use your degree!! I will be using most of my free time this week to finish up a theoritical design project I'm working on to convice my boss to move me to design and save me from the torture of steaking spruce trees all day every day. If that doesn't work, maybe I'll move to the Rockies up in B.C. and sell racoon pelts to make a living.
So, on a completly different note: Spanglish. Just watched that again this past weekend. I like the movie, I think it has alot to say if you actually pay attention to it for more than entertainment value. True, as stated on someone else's blog, the ending leaves you kinda wondering what happens with the family, which I wish was wrapped up. But, the general idea is given, and I think its a respectable ending. Because it takes a different approach than Hollywood normally would. Normally, the guy would run off with the hot young house maid and leave his bitchy wife with the kids. How more Hollywood can you get? Fast action, cheating, hot women, its the perfect formula. But this one took the respectable approach, the guy sticks with his wife, even tho she's obviously flawed, and the Flor thinks of her daughter over herself. I really wish I could see how the family gets thru the wife cheating, and the husband being strongly tempted to leave her, but taking her back. Probably not sequel-worthy, tho. Theres another semi-underplayed theme goin on in the movie, too: The pressures of success and how people deal with it. John Clasky is extremely nervous about his revue, so much so that he doesn't even want a perfect score, it would require too much of him, he's afraid of success. Deborah Clasky is trying to be successful in the way of being a perfect woman: fit, beautiful, has it all. She can't handle her own life or herself, and feels the need to constantly excersize to try to keep in shape, have an affair because shes not sure of her real family, and force her daughter to be something she isn't. Eveyln Wright (the mother-in-law) is an alcaholic who seemingly had a very successful past, and either can't handle the past fame, or the fact that she is no longer a popular singer. Flor is driven to a different country to find a successful life for her daughter. Not a bad thing at all, but still driven by success. Christina is dazzeled by the Clasky's wealth, and wants to be like them. It seems the only one in the movie who has a real grasp on happiness is Bernice. Ironically shes the not-so-pretty, kinda overweight daughter of the Clasky's, the one you'd think would be the least happy of everyone. Her mom is trying to change her, she knows Christina is prettier than her, and yet, she seems happy with herself and who she is. I think Hollywood accidentally stumbled onto the truth, success isn't everything, and can very well ruin a person even, true happiness comes from yourself. Ok, so an oversimplified view, perhaps a bit off, but unless I go into great detail, it's gonna have to stand.
So, thats enough soap-boxing for today, back to the designing.
_____ of the day: why do birds suddenly appear?
The sticky Ogukuo
So, on a completly different note: Spanglish. Just watched that again this past weekend. I like the movie, I think it has alot to say if you actually pay attention to it for more than entertainment value. True, as stated on someone else's blog, the ending leaves you kinda wondering what happens with the family, which I wish was wrapped up. But, the general idea is given, and I think its a respectable ending. Because it takes a different approach than Hollywood normally would. Normally, the guy would run off with the hot young house maid and leave his bitchy wife with the kids. How more Hollywood can you get? Fast action, cheating, hot women, its the perfect formula. But this one took the respectable approach, the guy sticks with his wife, even tho she's obviously flawed, and the Flor thinks of her daughter over herself. I really wish I could see how the family gets thru the wife cheating, and the husband being strongly tempted to leave her, but taking her back. Probably not sequel-worthy, tho. Theres another semi-underplayed theme goin on in the movie, too: The pressures of success and how people deal with it. John Clasky is extremely nervous about his revue, so much so that he doesn't even want a perfect score, it would require too much of him, he's afraid of success. Deborah Clasky is trying to be successful in the way of being a perfect woman: fit, beautiful, has it all. She can't handle her own life or herself, and feels the need to constantly excersize to try to keep in shape, have an affair because shes not sure of her real family, and force her daughter to be something she isn't. Eveyln Wright (the mother-in-law) is an alcaholic who seemingly had a very successful past, and either can't handle the past fame, or the fact that she is no longer a popular singer. Flor is driven to a different country to find a successful life for her daughter. Not a bad thing at all, but still driven by success. Christina is dazzeled by the Clasky's wealth, and wants to be like them. It seems the only one in the movie who has a real grasp on happiness is Bernice. Ironically shes the not-so-pretty, kinda overweight daughter of the Clasky's, the one you'd think would be the least happy of everyone. Her mom is trying to change her, she knows Christina is prettier than her, and yet, she seems happy with herself and who she is. I think Hollywood accidentally stumbled onto the truth, success isn't everything, and can very well ruin a person even, true happiness comes from yourself. Ok, so an oversimplified view, perhaps a bit off, but unless I go into great detail, it's gonna have to stand.
So, thats enough soap-boxing for today, back to the designing.
_____ of the day: why do birds suddenly appear?
The sticky Ogukuo
15 July 2006
Hangover? or so much more?
Ok, so this morning I woke up with a headache. Of course, you are now thinking "Hangover! hangover!". Well, from my experiances, a hangover will last about and hour, and then its gone, at least the mild ones I've had. This headache got progressively worse for a good 5 or 6 hours thru out the day (mostly gone now, thank goodness). But, I don't think it was really a hangover. I speculate possibly mild heatstroke, or something like that. My roommate had a simular thing, hes also workin outside all day like me, so it'd make sense. I started work at 5:30 yesterday morning, and worked most of the day in the hot sun. And then had a few drinks of the relaxing nature last night, and some how last night turned into this morning, and I ended up staying up til about 3:30. So, I think I created a very bad combo of being in the sun most of the day (in 90+ heat, no less), having alcahol, and staying awake for 23 straight hours. I was even feeling like I was gonna loose my lunch there for a while, not cool. But, I've mostly recovered, and will probably be headin into work at 5:30 or 6 almost everyday this week to again try to avoid the incredible Iowa heat. And perhaps avoiding the uber late nights and alcamahol as well.
I must add a very important disclaimer, however, I had a blast last night, I don't regret staying up late and drinking, just wish it didn't lead to the negative effects it did. I love talking music, especially with people like Ross and Paul who actually know something about it. Of course, I try to restrain myself from talking too much and reveiling my ignorance on the subject in general, but I love learning about it, music is so much fun to discuss. I've always found it so intriguing, even more so in the last 6 months, since I've been so much more involved with it in OJK. I really hope to go on and be part of the music scene that I find so intriguing to talk about. Man, the thought of getting on a label and everything is exciting enough, but the thought of leaving a lasting mark on the world of music is practically unattainable thought at this point, it so cool.
Ok, I'd better end this post before I work myself up to the point of giggling uncontrollably about the whole band/music thing.
_______ of the day: I hate any day that goes over 90 degrees
The overheated Ogukuo
I must add a very important disclaimer, however, I had a blast last night, I don't regret staying up late and drinking, just wish it didn't lead to the negative effects it did. I love talking music, especially with people like Ross and Paul who actually know something about it. Of course, I try to restrain myself from talking too much and reveiling my ignorance on the subject in general, but I love learning about it, music is so much fun to discuss. I've always found it so intriguing, even more so in the last 6 months, since I've been so much more involved with it in OJK. I really hope to go on and be part of the music scene that I find so intriguing to talk about. Man, the thought of getting on a label and everything is exciting enough, but the thought of leaving a lasting mark on the world of music is practically unattainable thought at this point, it so cool.
Ok, I'd better end this post before I work myself up to the point of giggling uncontrollably about the whole band/music thing.
_______ of the day: I hate any day that goes over 90 degrees
The overheated Ogukuo
12 July 2006
Caught in the crossfire of childhood and stardom
So I watched Pink Floyd The Wall yesterday, wow, that was intense. I really am gonna have to see it again to understand it I think. Probably more like half a dozen more times really. Also found out that Syd Barrett died, thats uber sad. I think he was one of those people who was genius to the point of insanity. Or maybe he was just insane with no genius, I dunno. He co-founded Pink Floyd, but only stayed with them for a while, before basically losing it. I think those who are musicians to an extreme point like that tend to be a bit self destructive. Just like any artist who is so intense about their artwork. I like to think that I'm not insane even tho I'm an artist, but those who know me may know better. I can at least claim to be sane. I guess we'll find out in a few years after having a cd or 2 out and doin some major tours, maybe then I'll lose it, who knows.
So besides that, no blogworthy news so far this week, been rather ho-hum really.
______ of the day: Shine on you crazy diamond
The tired/hungry Ogukuo
So besides that, no blogworthy news so far this week, been rather ho-hum really.
______ of the day: Shine on you crazy diamond
The tired/hungry Ogukuo
10 July 2006
Let's go get the shit kicked out of us by love
So I watched Love, Actually with Paul and Andrea last night. That nice line in my title is from the movie. So no jumping down my throat about swearing, its a quote, but a wonderful application of a potty word anyway. Its said by a little boy who has been trying for a little girl in his class to like him. Like, these are 10-year-olds or something. He says that to his stepdad when he has finally worked up the courage to go talk to the girl. How amazingly true it is, too. I mean, trying to approach a girl about unsaid but obviously understood topic is pretty much the most nerve racking thing that can happen. Especially for a guy approaching a girl about it. Girls (not all, but some) like to "play the game" and mess with your heart (and don't you dare respond that they don't, cause you know its true, and I've talked to girls who have outright told me they do it to watch the guy sweat). I'm talking about a girl intentionally acting a certain way to make a guy miserable because she knows he likes her. Most guys don't do that. A guy may be mean about it, but the girl knows how he feels. I'd rather know where I stand than have a girl play with my heart like a dog plays with a chew toy (make any analogies there you wish, I'm implying them all). Of course, in the movie the girl is nice, and they end up as together as two 10-year-olds from different continents can. But, of course, thats a movie. Real life it ain't.
I can't wait for school to start again so that everyone is back, but at the same time, its so nice being able to avoid the girl scene (trouble) for the most part over the summer. So, in other words, I am again reminding myself of my persistance to be single for the time being. I hope that I can sooner or later actually work up the courage of a 10-year-old, but not right now. Pursuing is a 24-hour-a-day temptation, one that I'm trying to avoid right now, cause I don't want a girlfriend right now, and it would only end up in me being hurt yet once again. And don't leave any crappy kitschy comments about 'the one being out there' or 'good things come to those who wait', yeah, super, that'd earn you the status of old nosey church lady back home who asks me with a wink why I'm staying in Iowa (no, not anyone in particular, but you know the type I'm talking about). I'm not looking for reassurance or anything stupid like that, just stating my general intentions to not waste my time/feelings/heart for the time being. My family track record ain't real great for getting married early, and it looks like I'm gonna follow suit, and at least wait a few more months to even consider putting myself out there again to either find someone awesome or have another girl play the game with me being the ball.
Ok, this post is way too long, and sounds bitter, but it isn't, or at least I'm not bitter, even if the post appears that way.
_______ of the day: "One day you'll see her and you'll know what I mean"
The off-work Ogukuo
I can't wait for school to start again so that everyone is back, but at the same time, its so nice being able to avoid the girl scene (trouble) for the most part over the summer. So, in other words, I am again reminding myself of my persistance to be single for the time being. I hope that I can sooner or later actually work up the courage of a 10-year-old, but not right now. Pursuing is a 24-hour-a-day temptation, one that I'm trying to avoid right now, cause I don't want a girlfriend right now, and it would only end up in me being hurt yet once again. And don't leave any crappy kitschy comments about 'the one being out there' or 'good things come to those who wait', yeah, super, that'd earn you the status of old nosey church lady back home who asks me with a wink why I'm staying in Iowa (no, not anyone in particular, but you know the type I'm talking about). I'm not looking for reassurance or anything stupid like that, just stating my general intentions to not waste my time/feelings/heart for the time being. My family track record ain't real great for getting married early, and it looks like I'm gonna follow suit, and at least wait a few more months to even consider putting myself out there again to either find someone awesome or have another girl play the game with me being the ball.
Ok, this post is way too long, and sounds bitter, but it isn't, or at least I'm not bitter, even if the post appears that way.
_______ of the day: "One day you'll see her and you'll know what I mean"
The off-work Ogukuo
08 July 2006
This post's for you
Heres a special posting dedicated to those who get up on Saturday mornings and check everyone's blogs first thing. Sadly enough, I did that myself this morning, right after checking my email. I've got a wonderful pattern of checking my gmail account, groupwise account, blogspot blogs, xanga blogs, and facebook. Almost always in that order. And people say that interpersonal communication skills have gone the way of front porches and knowing your neighbors. So, instead of reading this, go outside!!! Its a beautiful day!!! (Thank you U2 for the background insperation) Looks like we got enough rain last night to clean up everything, and freshen up the earth. And yet, instead of enjoying the true fullness of life, you are sitting here reading this inside on a cold, impersonal computer. And sadly enough, I'm writing it on the same horrible beast. What cars did to knowing your neighbors a hundred years ago, computers are doing to knowing anyone now. Instead of talking to someone to find out how they are doin, we check their blog. Instead of writing someone a quick note and giving it to them, we write on someones facebook wall. Email has cheapened letters to the point of ridiculousness. Our wonderful, time-saving, convienent advances in technology have taken us to the point of being able to isolate ourselves from any form of real human contact at all. Not to mention contact with nature. I also check the weather report in the morning. I do that in front of my computer instead of walking up the stairs and looking out the fricken window. If I need to buy something, I look it up online, if I wanna talk to someone, I email them, if I wanna know whats happening, I check drudgereport, if I wanna see nature, I look up pictures online. What would happen to our culture if the internet went down? (Lets all pray it happens) Its getting to the point where our entire lives revolve around a cold calculating machine sitting on the desk. If we lost that, God forbid, we may actually have to talk to someone in person!! We may regress to the horrible point in human history where we take the time to ask someone how they are, or write (as in those archaic tools, pen and paper) someone a personal note, read a newspaper out on the front porch to see whats happening in the world, look out the window to find out if its raining or not, take a walk around town or in a park instead of surfing the net aimlessly, enjoying real human company instead of e-friends.
On that slightly psychotic (but all too clearly spewed out) note, I'm gonna go for a bike ride, and then return to my house and (sigh) sit in front of my computer some more.
_____ of the day: I thought these devices were supposed to make life easier, not more complicated.
The e-Ogukuo
On that slightly psychotic (but all too clearly spewed out) note, I'm gonna go for a bike ride, and then return to my house and (sigh) sit in front of my computer some more.
_____ of the day: I thought these devices were supposed to make life easier, not more complicated.
The e-Ogukuo
06 July 2006
Stuck in the Middle
So the fireworks Tuesday night really shed some light on a subject. And that was an increadibly generic sentance, no insight into anything. For the longest time I have watched the fireworks in Ripon from my grandpas frontyard with my family after our 4th of July bbq. So watching fireworks reminded me of that. And Sunday dinner at grandpas house. And family camping. And various cousin get-togethers (we called them VanFerBerns, dont ask). And I realize that all of that is pretty much in my past. Cause I don't live there anymore, and so I'll miss all of the family stuff. Its amazing, thats been a major part of my life for so long, and the memories of it are so vivid, and I'll never experiance it again, least not in the same way. And yet, I don't really feel like I'm at home in Sioux Center either. I'm still just a leftover college student. I can't go back to Ripon, it just wouldn't work, so I really am a man with no country, so to speak. I'm left in a state of being dazed and confused, just trying to find some sort of solid base for my life, cause now there really isn't one. I dunno how long I'll be living in my current residence, how long I'll have my current job, if my friendships with all the returning students will be the same, obviously family relations are different now, about the only solid thing I have to go on in who I am and who God is. And I know thats all I need, but it still increadbly scary. I guess I've kinda come to a logger-head against life, and I'm just gonna have to get thru it.
And the worst part is I'm not returning to school in the fall. For the past 18 years I've returned to school in the fall. If I were this year, I'd be looking at 7 more weeks of drifting, and then back to familiar territory. But instead of that, I've got my entire life ahead of me and its depending on decisions I make now. Quiting my job now doesn't affect the rest of my summer, it affects the rest of my life. I can't grit my teeth and bare it ("it" being anything and everything) until September, now its life and I can't put it off, its not goin away in the fall, or any other time. Basically there's nothing set in the future that I can look forward to. So I dunno where that leaves you, but it leaves me slightly lost.
_______ of the day: a bit of comic relief
The fire-worked Ogukuo
And the worst part is I'm not returning to school in the fall. For the past 18 years I've returned to school in the fall. If I were this year, I'd be looking at 7 more weeks of drifting, and then back to familiar territory. But instead of that, I've got my entire life ahead of me and its depending on decisions I make now. Quiting my job now doesn't affect the rest of my summer, it affects the rest of my life. I can't grit my teeth and bare it ("it" being anything and everything) until September, now its life and I can't put it off, its not goin away in the fall, or any other time. Basically there's nothing set in the future that I can look forward to. So I dunno where that leaves you, but it leaves me slightly lost.
_______ of the day: a bit of comic relief
The fire-worked Ogukuo
03 July 2006
Just out for a good time
I've seen/heard of two excellent examples tonight of why those of use who are human should not drink alcahol to excess. Yes, drinking is fun, and can lead to a good time, but as the old cliche saying goes, there is too much of a good thing. Not only can it ruin your night in the short term (not to mention the following morning (and afternoon, depending how deep in the hole you are)), it can ruin your life in the long run. Everything in moderation. By all means, enjoy life, live it to its fullest, but be a slave to nothing. My resolve to not drink on a very too regular basis (which is strong already, the resolve, that is) has been severely strengthened over the past 3 hours. I just hope those who make stupid decisions that ruin the short term don't get to the point of not being able to make decisions any more and ruin their life in the long term.
And now, time for bed, gotta be up in 6 hours for yummy breakfast made by not me.
_____ of the day: Its already be said.
The stone sober Ogukuo
And now, time for bed, gotta be up in 6 hours for yummy breakfast made by not me.
_____ of the day: Its already be said.
The stone sober Ogukuo
02 July 2006
California Surfin'
So I went surfing this morning for half an hour or so. Sadly, it was surfing blogs, not the ocean. I know thats not blogworthy, but I don't really got anything else to start a blog with, so its stream of conscienceness.
I am liking the idea of OJK taking off more and more. With each show we play, I'm realizing more and more how much I totally enjoy it. Entertaining people is a blast, not to mention meeting bunches of new people, hearing music from other local bands, and best of all being able to play our music. Granted, Pauly does most of the writing, or Andrew does, but I still like to claim at least part of the music cause, for the most part, I come up with my own bass lines. Which can be both fun and disasterous. I can't wait to do a full length professionally recorded album later this year (I'd say I'm crossing my fingers in hope, but I know we all want it to happen, so barring any unforeseen circumstances, I dunno why it wouldn't).
On a completely different note, today is the first Sunday in a while where I didn't role out of bed and think to myself, crap, now I've got 5 days in a row of having to get up at 6:30 instead of sleeping in. Porque no trabajo para dos mas dias! Of course, tomorrow will be filled with lots and lots of "I really need to do it" stuff, but it'll be better than tying bamboo to trees (which, granted, isn't really that bad, just boring). No clue what Tuesday holds yet, except for the strong possiblity of setting things on fire to celibrate out nations freedom. Odd way to celibrate, but I'm all about fire, so bring it on!
Played a game a Pauls house yesterday during rehersal break that was totally awesome. Its like a cross between Cricket (very British), horseshoes (very American) and golf (very frustrating). But it was fun.
Ok, enough random odd glimpses into my life in Northwest Iowa, most of you are probably asleep at this point, having wierd, boring dreams.
_______ of the day: Gallop Poles (sp?) always make me think of horses.
The NWI Ogukuo
I am liking the idea of OJK taking off more and more. With each show we play, I'm realizing more and more how much I totally enjoy it. Entertaining people is a blast, not to mention meeting bunches of new people, hearing music from other local bands, and best of all being able to play our music. Granted, Pauly does most of the writing, or Andrew does, but I still like to claim at least part of the music cause, for the most part, I come up with my own bass lines. Which can be both fun and disasterous. I can't wait to do a full length professionally recorded album later this year (I'd say I'm crossing my fingers in hope, but I know we all want it to happen, so barring any unforeseen circumstances, I dunno why it wouldn't).
On a completely different note, today is the first Sunday in a while where I didn't role out of bed and think to myself, crap, now I've got 5 days in a row of having to get up at 6:30 instead of sleeping in. Porque no trabajo para dos mas dias! Of course, tomorrow will be filled with lots and lots of "I really need to do it" stuff, but it'll be better than tying bamboo to trees (which, granted, isn't really that bad, just boring). No clue what Tuesday holds yet, except for the strong possiblity of setting things on fire to celibrate out nations freedom. Odd way to celibrate, but I'm all about fire, so bring it on!
Played a game a Pauls house yesterday during rehersal break that was totally awesome. Its like a cross between Cricket (very British), horseshoes (very American) and golf (very frustrating). But it was fun.
Ok, enough random odd glimpses into my life in Northwest Iowa, most of you are probably asleep at this point, having wierd, boring dreams.
_______ of the day: Gallop Poles (sp?) always make me think of horses.
The NWI Ogukuo
29 June 2006
Imp of the perverse
You know what that is? Imp of the perverse? Its that thing inside of you that tells you to push the big red button tagged "DO NOT PUSH". I mean, you wanna push it just because you know you shouldn't. Same thing that tells you to jump off a cliff when you're standing at the edge. Not cause you wanna kill yourself, there really isn't a reason outside of just wanting to do it cause you know you shouldn't/can't.
I think its the same thing that makes people want to watch torture in movies. I mean, you know that its something that you really shouldn't be interested in, you should be disgusted by it. And yet, you want to watch it. I just walked out of Resevoir Dogs in a scene where I guy cut off a cops ear. Not like in a fight, but the cop was tied to a chair, gagged, the whole bit. Then the guy went out to his car to get a can of gas. At this point, I really didn't want to know what happened next, so I decided to leave and do something only slightly more useful (that would be blogging, for those of you short on reasoning skills).
So I guess thats sorta a long way of writing something out to pose a question of why do people find that entertaining? I don't care what genre of movie you like, or weather you consider your taste in movies good or not. Thats preferance, nothing more. But why is torture considered entertaining? I personally find it revolting. Silly me, I guess I'm just uncultured. Some would consider me to have poor taste in movies (which I don't care about, I mean, I like what I like, you like what you like), and therefore I am not allowed to voice my opinion. But, being not allowed to do something is more than enough of a reason to do it.
So thats my little rant for the night, go ahead and scoff me off, dance all over my opinion and debunk it on whatever basis you want to. If I am entitled to my opinion (which I am, no matter how invalid you want to tell yourself it is), you are most certainly entitled to yours.
_____ of the day: Um, Thursdays have always struck me as odd.
The Thursday-ed Ogukuo
I think its the same thing that makes people want to watch torture in movies. I mean, you know that its something that you really shouldn't be interested in, you should be disgusted by it. And yet, you want to watch it. I just walked out of Resevoir Dogs in a scene where I guy cut off a cops ear. Not like in a fight, but the cop was tied to a chair, gagged, the whole bit. Then the guy went out to his car to get a can of gas. At this point, I really didn't want to know what happened next, so I decided to leave and do something only slightly more useful (that would be blogging, for those of you short on reasoning skills).
So I guess thats sorta a long way of writing something out to pose a question of why do people find that entertaining? I don't care what genre of movie you like, or weather you consider your taste in movies good or not. Thats preferance, nothing more. But why is torture considered entertaining? I personally find it revolting. Silly me, I guess I'm just uncultured. Some would consider me to have poor taste in movies (which I don't care about, I mean, I like what I like, you like what you like), and therefore I am not allowed to voice my opinion. But, being not allowed to do something is more than enough of a reason to do it.
So thats my little rant for the night, go ahead and scoff me off, dance all over my opinion and debunk it on whatever basis you want to. If I am entitled to my opinion (which I am, no matter how invalid you want to tell yourself it is), you are most certainly entitled to yours.
_____ of the day: Um, Thursdays have always struck me as odd.
The Thursday-ed Ogukuo
23 June 2006
Warning: Randomness
Ok, so I dunno where to start, or end, or if I even have anything to say. Except this: Conversations that have no end and answer no questions are probably the best and most meaningful conversations ever. Its amazing how you can take a few guys who seemingly (I mean from appearances and what others gather from first impressions) don't think much about important issues, take guys like that, put them into a truly deep and meaningful conversation (like, beyond whether grape juice or wine should be served at communion) and its truly awesome the questions that come up. And, of course, answers are almost never around, or hiding in the shadows of the conversation (at best), but the depth of the conversation is awe inspiring. Bringing up Paul and his letters to the various churches in such a discussion it so incredable, I love it.
Theres also the issue of guys and girls (always an issue, never solved). What attracks one to the other (specifically, not generally), what makes a "good" one or a "bad" one to be attracked to, or not attracked to. And why must it be so difficult? And, how do you deal with such an issue in the situation of popularity and being well know by lots and lots of people? Basically, when a guy is so popular with girls (such as when said guy is in a popular band) how does he handle that situation with moral and integrity? (This is forward thinking with hope and asperation in mind). And, for any girls reading this, don't even try to understand, its completely different for guys, and there is no way that any girl will ever understand it. Don't be offended by that, or venture a study into the male mind, just accept that you won't understand, and be grateful. Yes, despite what popular media is trying so desperately to shove down everyones throat, males and females are inherantly different, and always will be, and these differences are practically un-understandable by members of the opposite gender. So I guess my point is, if you a girl reading this, you most likely won't understand, and don't try to, you'll just get a headache. I mean, you may understand the general premise, but not much beyond the surface idea. If you are a guy reading this, hopefully you can see thru me being a terrible communicator, and you'll know exactly what I'm talking about. But, anyway, enough confusion and slaughtering of the English language for tonight, its time for several hours of unconsiousness.
________ of the day: Naked babies and I have rabies (either you know, or don't even ask)
The un-rabied Ogukuo
Theres also the issue of guys and girls (always an issue, never solved). What attracks one to the other (specifically, not generally), what makes a "good" one or a "bad" one to be attracked to, or not attracked to. And why must it be so difficult? And, how do you deal with such an issue in the situation of popularity and being well know by lots and lots of people? Basically, when a guy is so popular with girls (such as when said guy is in a popular band) how does he handle that situation with moral and integrity? (This is forward thinking with hope and asperation in mind). And, for any girls reading this, don't even try to understand, its completely different for guys, and there is no way that any girl will ever understand it. Don't be offended by that, or venture a study into the male mind, just accept that you won't understand, and be grateful. Yes, despite what popular media is trying so desperately to shove down everyones throat, males and females are inherantly different, and always will be, and these differences are practically un-understandable by members of the opposite gender. So I guess my point is, if you a girl reading this, you most likely won't understand, and don't try to, you'll just get a headache. I mean, you may understand the general premise, but not much beyond the surface idea. If you are a guy reading this, hopefully you can see thru me being a terrible communicator, and you'll know exactly what I'm talking about. But, anyway, enough confusion and slaughtering of the English language for tonight, its time for several hours of unconsiousness.
________ of the day: Naked babies and I have rabies (either you know, or don't even ask)
The un-rabied Ogukuo
20 June 2006
Hangover
Ok, I guess the last post needs a bit of a follow up (read it first, if you haven't yet). I can't say I didn't mean it, cause for the most part, its all true. But, it all just kinda hit me at the same time, a bad time. Kinda like a hangover, I mean, of the emotional/mental kind, not the alcahol type. The last few weeks were pretty cool with goin to California, doin a concert, spending an evening in SF, and mostly not spending alot of time at work. Then suddenly, it was Monday and I was looking down the barrel of a full week of work with no real highlights for the week, or this coming weekend either, really. It was just frustrating not really having anything to look forward to in the near future. Workin all week by myself doin the same thing all day everyday is kinda hard to deal with. Its increadable how slow time can go by when you are bored out of your mind. But, I know its gonna change. Sooner or later I'll be doin something else. Either I'll find it at my current job, or I'll have to leave for my own sanity and find something else. Thats what I'm hanging onto at this point, thank goodness I heard today I may be going out to the field to help put on sprinkler heads. Yeah, not glorious, but at least a change of scenery. Hopefully next week I can get enough of my design work together to show my boss and hopefully start working myself up to the design position I want. And, I know its a long shot, but I'm also holding onto the outside possiblity of the band taking off. To quote the illustrious rhymer, Eminem........"Success is my only mother-f*ckin option, failure's not." No matter what, where I am, how I do it, who's there with me, when it happens, I am going to be a success. As of yet, I don't know in what or how or when. But it's gotta happen, I won't settle for anything less.
_______ of the day:
Look, if you had one shot, or one opportunity
To seize everything you ever wanted-One moment
Would you capture it or just let it slip?
The determined Ogukuo
_______ of the day:
Look, if you had one shot, or one opportunity
To seize everything you ever wanted-One moment
Would you capture it or just let it slip?
The determined Ogukuo
19 June 2006
Easy isn't
Ever feel like you have everything figured out, just to turn around and find out its really all just fucked up? Its that feeling of wanting to run away, get out of town, out of the country. I want to do that right now. I don't wanna be here, I don't wanna be anywhere. Least not anywhere I know. I want to get away to somewhere where I'm don't know and no one knows me. "It doesn't hurt when your dreaming"- Operation Joy Kill. I want to spend the rest of my life dreaming, I hate reality. Its nothing but pain and hurt. Spending all day doing nothing at a job leading no where, and the evening is nothing but trying to forget. Amazing how moments of loss can really be moments of clairity. I wish I could just go back like 6 years and start everything over. And yet, why? I mean, what could I change? I wish I could erase my memory like 'Eternal Sunshine'. Even if I lived the same things over and over, if I could just forget it for a while. Where can I go from here? It doesn't matter, life follows me everywhere. What I am, who I am, who I know, where I've been, what I've seen, it will all always be with me. No matter what. I guess theres nothing but to continue to conitune, over and over. Its gonna be a long life.
16 June 2006
Come as you are
OJK had a show tonight in SC. Attendance was kinda meh, but our set went ok (esp. considering its the first time we've played together in 1.5 months), and we made a few connections that could prove to be quite helpful in the future.
So heres the deep, thoughtful question of the post: What will become of this band? I mean, are we gonna have fun, play shows, entertain people, etc? Or become known thru-out the "Sioux Empire" and play various shows around this area? Or is it possible that it will take off and we become a big name band? I mean, I honestly think we have the band personality as well as talent to do it. Of course, it also means being in the right place at the right time, having the right guy hear us, etc. And by all means, I would love to make a career out of being a traveling rock 'n' roller. But, is that something that should really be pursued or not? As much fun as it would be, is it worth it? How many rock stars have killed themselves, or turned into shells of people addicted to drugs, etc. I don't think its worth that. Obviously the rock lifestyle is outside the ordinary, in both good and bad ways. I guess the question is would it be worth it if it was ever a real possiblility. And, yeah, thats tough to say. Its easy now to say that I would never get into the bad side of it, but how many other people have said that? And then end up killing themselves because they just can't handle it. I don't think that would happen, but having that much pressure is kinda scary to think about. Yeah, the pressure thing, another point, I mean, everyone watches your every move and would love to eat you alive for any of your mistakes. I dunno if I would want my life picked apart like that.
Ok, enough deepness for now, time for some unconsiousness of the sleeping nature now.
________ of the day: Fun and Entertainment vs. whatever the opposite is.
The as-of-yet-unknown Ogukuo
So heres the deep, thoughtful question of the post: What will become of this band? I mean, are we gonna have fun, play shows, entertain people, etc? Or become known thru-out the "Sioux Empire" and play various shows around this area? Or is it possible that it will take off and we become a big name band? I mean, I honestly think we have the band personality as well as talent to do it. Of course, it also means being in the right place at the right time, having the right guy hear us, etc. And by all means, I would love to make a career out of being a traveling rock 'n' roller. But, is that something that should really be pursued or not? As much fun as it would be, is it worth it? How many rock stars have killed themselves, or turned into shells of people addicted to drugs, etc. I don't think its worth that. Obviously the rock lifestyle is outside the ordinary, in both good and bad ways. I guess the question is would it be worth it if it was ever a real possiblility. And, yeah, thats tough to say. Its easy now to say that I would never get into the bad side of it, but how many other people have said that? And then end up killing themselves because they just can't handle it. I don't think that would happen, but having that much pressure is kinda scary to think about. Yeah, the pressure thing, another point, I mean, everyone watches your every move and would love to eat you alive for any of your mistakes. I dunno if I would want my life picked apart like that.
Ok, enough deepness for now, time for some unconsiousness of the sleeping nature now.
________ of the day: Fun and Entertainment vs. whatever the opposite is.
The as-of-yet-unknown Ogukuo
14 June 2006
Other side of the fence
Somehow I have a feeling alot of these posts will relate to girls and relationships. And on that note.........
I can't count (at least with my shoes on, I can't) how many times I've been rejected by a girl. Typical story, I get interested in a girl, come on too strong, she wants to be friends, I get shot down, and end up all awkward and without a relationship. Sometimes I've never talked to the girl again after that, and sometimes (thank goodness) the relationship recovers and we stay good friends.
But recently theres been a new game in town, and I've been on the other side of the fence than what I'm used to. I'm used to being rejected, but turning down someone else is relatively new territory to me. And I hate it just as much as what I'm used to. Especially when the girl is a nice one, and one I'm friends with. I've turned down girls I didn't really know, but thats not really a big deal. I mean, in that case, since I don't know them, they can't really know me yet, so I figure theres no real basis for them liking me anyway. But when its a friend, thats different. Then its obviously someone who knows me.
I thought I knew what I wanted in a girl, but now I don't know. Even with girls who I know who have the qualities I think I like, sometimes I don't like them as anything more than a friend, and I don't understand it. I've also recently realized (even tho I've really know this for a long time) that if I ever want a exclusive relationship with a girl (I've never had one) I'm gonna have to stop acting like a Jr Higher and actually talk to a girl about it. I mean, as a male, I'm supposed to be the pursuer, and regardless of personal views on that, I've never really done that besides having crushes and talking to the girl's friends about it (thats the whole Jr High thing). And, of course, thats easy, cause I'm not putting myself on the line as much, but actually talking to a girl about it, yeah, a bit more of a risk there. I've gotta get past being scared of that, take the risk (cause, face it, its worth it in the long run), and actually pursue a real realationship in a real way. Of course, I know that means I'll get hurt more, but hopefully it'll be worth the pain if I find what I'm looking for (it would also help if I knew what I was looking for).
So somehow that turned from a post about turning someone down into a post about asking someone out, I dunno how that happened, except the excuse of stream of consiousness.
_____ of the day: Evidently, I bare a striking resembalance to Ben Folds with short hair.
The Folding (hehehehehe) Ogukuo
I can't count (at least with my shoes on, I can't) how many times I've been rejected by a girl. Typical story, I get interested in a girl, come on too strong, she wants to be friends, I get shot down, and end up all awkward and without a relationship. Sometimes I've never talked to the girl again after that, and sometimes (thank goodness) the relationship recovers and we stay good friends.
But recently theres been a new game in town, and I've been on the other side of the fence than what I'm used to. I'm used to being rejected, but turning down someone else is relatively new territory to me. And I hate it just as much as what I'm used to. Especially when the girl is a nice one, and one I'm friends with. I've turned down girls I didn't really know, but thats not really a big deal. I mean, in that case, since I don't know them, they can't really know me yet, so I figure theres no real basis for them liking me anyway. But when its a friend, thats different. Then its obviously someone who knows me.
I thought I knew what I wanted in a girl, but now I don't know. Even with girls who I know who have the qualities I think I like, sometimes I don't like them as anything more than a friend, and I don't understand it. I've also recently realized (even tho I've really know this for a long time) that if I ever want a exclusive relationship with a girl (I've never had one) I'm gonna have to stop acting like a Jr Higher and actually talk to a girl about it. I mean, as a male, I'm supposed to be the pursuer, and regardless of personal views on that, I've never really done that besides having crushes and talking to the girl's friends about it (thats the whole Jr High thing). And, of course, thats easy, cause I'm not putting myself on the line as much, but actually talking to a girl about it, yeah, a bit more of a risk there. I've gotta get past being scared of that, take the risk (cause, face it, its worth it in the long run), and actually pursue a real realationship in a real way. Of course, I know that means I'll get hurt more, but hopefully it'll be worth the pain if I find what I'm looking for (it would also help if I knew what I was looking for).
So somehow that turned from a post about turning someone down into a post about asking someone out, I dunno how that happened, except the excuse of stream of consiousness.
_____ of the day: Evidently, I bare a striking resembalance to Ben Folds with short hair.
The Folding (hehehehehe) Ogukuo
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